Thursday, October 13, 2011

In need of a Woman's perspective


In the annoyingly exaggerated words of Paula Deen, "Hey Y'all." As many of you know, i have been sewing for a great many years. One of the things I enjoy building (man term for sewing) are quilts. There is something about the repetitive precision sewing that calms me. It really makes no difference whether i am sewing a scrappy quilt or paper piecing.
I have made quilts out of old Concert T-shirts, Men's Ties, I even made three quilt tops out of a mans entire collection of shirts he wore to make three quilts for his three sons after he passed away. As a point of fact, right now i'm making an "Ass Quilt". It's a scrappy quilt made from denim reclaimed from dead jeans. The colors range from a very pale blue all the way to black. I call it an "Ass Quilt" because everything you make should have a good story to go along with it. So my story for this one is that the quilt is made from the butt section of women's jeans. Okay, so it's a tasteless guy thing. If it makes you feel any better, just imagine the quilt is being made out of Sam Elliot or Sean Connery's jeans. See, now if you had the quilt, you could have your own story. Afterall, isn't that more fun than, it's just made of old jeans??
Okay, let me get to it. For about as long as i've been intimate with women, i've been fixing underwires. You know, those pesky little metal buggers that pop out of one side or the other just as soon as the new gets washed off. Hell i've probably seen more bras than Herminie Cadolle, but less than Heffner. So, here is the thing i need a Woman's Perspective on. I have been kicking this idea around a few years now for a bra quilt. Yes, a bra quilt. No, i'm not kidding. If you know me, you know this is just my kind of project. I have this vision of making a pair of them actually. One made with all Left cups and one all containing Right ones. Given the general two to three piece shape of the American cup, the pattern that would emerge would be something similar to overlapping fish scales. I'd like to make the top out of all sorts of colors and sizes with a big fat Susan G Komen Logo and donate one to them to be auctioned off or whatever they feel like they would like to do with it. The sister quilt, i'd keep and dispose of as i deem appropriate. This IS NOT something i would sell. The very thought makes me ill. My aim is to give something to the people chasing the cure for Breast Cancer and i'll either keep the sister or make a gift of it.
Now, what i need to know is; is this project in bad taste. If not, do i make it out of new bras or gently used ones? If i do go forward with this, is adding the Komen Logo a good idea or should i leave it out?? I have a hundred questions, but since i am a man i need your answers.
Again, let me make it clear. This is not a joke. I am just as serious about this as i was when i made the Prairie dress for the eight year old that wouldn't see nine, and the gown for the size 32 Bride (who looked beautiful btw).
I eagerly await your feedback and please, pass this on to other women so i can get as much feedback as possible.

Until next time, Peace be with you, Dave

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Game Rules

Every once in a while, someone or something happens that really gets my ass out of joint. Lately, i haven't felt much like writing mostly because my ass has really been out of joint. Yeah; Sure; i'm frequently cranky or grouchy. Hence, the Truculent for a middle name on FaceBook. Not withstanding that, i try to keep a nice even demeanor and struggle to live as simple a life as i can. I was told many years ago, by the first doctor i liked, to cut as much of the stress out of my life as possible and i've worked very hard to limit the stressors in my world.
Well, here a couple of years ago i started playing a game where the rules were not only undefined, but there seemed to always be a reason why any rules couldn't be established to aid in the structure and advance the game. This one sided approach to game play came to a head recently. It has caused me to reevaluate the game, how it has been played, and my willingness to continue.
So, i grabbed my rosary and my bottle of Esperanto and meditated on the subject. Eventually, i came to a realization. First, when you wash dishes, you have to wash both sides, not just the front. Second, Hawthorne said that all you had to do to be nothing is simply to do nothing. And Third, when i dig my heels in i always win.
What does all this mean?? Well, it's simple enough. My plates are clean, i'll no longer sit by and do nothing, and my heels are dug in good. I'm not playing this game until the rules are defined and the playing field is level. So, when the rules are made and the deck has 52 cards and an even shuffle, deal me in. Until then, i'll stick with my crossword puzzles as i never was a fan of solitaire.
Now that i have gotten this out of the way, i am going to post several in the next couple of weeks and get all the ugly drafts taken care of.
Until i write you again, Peace be with you, D