Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Ode to Christmas Dinner

Hello Sports Fans, it's a beautiful Wednesday morning (2:35 a.m.) and the world is as it should be; more or less. I'm sitting here with my trusty cigarette (new quit date for New Years), a Dr Pepper and that would be the caffeine free variety (all the sugar and none of the buzz) and a screaming bowl of dark chocolate puppy chow. In case you don't know what puppy chow is, it's not the Purina puppy food, it's a snack food made out of chex cereal, chocolate chips, peanut butter, butter and powdered sugar. The recipe on the side of the chex box calls it "Muddie Buddies", but my gal pal JB calls it puppy chow. Let's face facts here, they are square and about the right size, kind of brown with a powdery white coating. Looks like puppy chow, gets called puppy chow around here and at night when i am snacky and I'm writing, i eat it with chopsticks. Naturally, my kids think i'm weird for doing that and honestly Donna just stopped asking questions sometime around year ten. The reason why i eat it with chopsticks is simple enough. If i eat it with my hands, my fingers get all gookey (has to be a word) and if i eat it with chopsticks my hands stay clean and i can type without gooking (also a word) up my keyboard. Feel free to try it sometime, if you can do it in front of little kids it will drive them mad. It sure is fun though.
Well on to Christmas Dinner. So after all of the menu changes i put myself through for Christmas Dinner, it ended up that we didn't have that woman over anyway. You know, i'd say my prayers had been answered, but i was just so horribly angry at the prospect of eating with her that i really have doubts they were my prayers that were answered.
We hadn't had a big ole Pitt. type ham in a number of years so it was good, just not the duck i was wanting to fix, but the ham was really good. There is a place in Whitesboro Texas called The Old World Meat Market and i highly recommend them for anything animal related. The Stags Head, Stags Leap, or Stags Butt Pinot Noir went with the ham well enough. On that note, doesn't it seem weird that a whole bottle will go from pop to poop in a single glass around a table, if you even make it all the way around?? I mean, they need to get more wine into the damn bottle without making the bottle any bigger.
I made a bunch of gnosh type stuff and deviled eggs with dill and horseradish for my little "Bucket Face". At the very last minute, i rolled the Green Beans Almondine out of the pan and into the dish and dinner was on. Okay, now i have to tell you the best part of the whole meal was the bread. Now, yes i do make bread often. I make it multiple times a week. However, since we all got the bug that went around a month ago i threw out my three sour doughs. Yes, i had three different sour dough starters. The traditional one that's made from fermenting off a dough that is jump started with store bought yeast. The second, called Biga, is made by fermenting grapes in a flour and water solution for a couple weeks and then nurturing it until it gets enough natural yeast from the grapes to actually leaven bread and lastly, a sour dough that was made from the naturally occurring yeast in the air we breath in Garland. This is the process the San Francisco Sour Dough Company uses to make their sour dough. It was my least favorite, but it has to be due to what is in the air here. I'd probably love what would grow out of the air in Alpine or Ft Davis, but that's there. Anyway on to the bread. I made a plain ole Italian bread dough, but i did something i read about when i was doing research on the Biga sour dough. They talked at great length of letting the bread rise in a crock bowl for up to three days, naturally ensuring the dough doesn't dry out on the surface, and then baking it off in the bowl. Well now the bowl that i most often use to do the first rise in is a big old pasta bowl. The sides are shallow and wouldn't send the sides of the dough up near as much as a regular bread bowl, but i though what the heck.
You know, that morning i got out my Kitchenaid and made one of the prettiest doughs. It really was nice and smooth and very elastic. I had high hopes, but i have had high hopes before. So, i olive oiled the bowl and dropped my dough ball in to raise. A while later it had doubled and i punched it down and that's when it hit me. I thought, hey dude, just leave it in the bowl. And, so i did. When it was proofed up nice and pretty, i threw it in the oven and smiled. It looked like one of those moments of Grace, but i didn't want to get too carried away as i still had to get it baked.
Now, just so you know, every time we have a family sit down, special occasion meal i make bread. One of us, other than me ( cause it's good for kids to get the opportunity to do it too) will say grace and being the guy that made the bread, i'll tear it in half and pass it down both sides. It's just one of our little traditions. Well i hadn't given that whole bread breaking thing too much thought when i decided to bake it off in the bowl, but how was i to know.
Okay, so i take my bread out of the oven and SHAZAAM!!!!! One of the prettiest loaves i have ever seen or made. One small glitsch though, I had a loaf that was 14 inches across and 12 inches high!!! TILT!!!! I turned it out on a towel and kept it covered for the fifteen minutes until we ate. It was massive. In the past, i have made three pounds of bread for a meal like this but it's always been a ring or a braid or something you could manage. This was like one of those medicine balls from gym class. I put it on my plate, still covered in a towel and my glasses had to be moved back to give it room. Now imagine this, i have two Darin Mcgavin's and they are junkies for homemade bread and i had a couple sneakers trying to get into the bread. Suffice it to say that we ate soon after that. My big boy said Grace and then all eyes were on me and my bread. When some jackass said, "What's this bread called??" I was a little horrified. In all that time i had never heard or read a name for the practice of cooking it in the bowl. So, i did what any good English guy would do, i pulled out my Latin and named it. Caput Di Bellum!!! Sorry to do this to ya, but try to keep up, it's sort of a joke. Caput Di Bellum is literally Head Of War/Battle, okay, so is that War Head Bread?? Well, i think it's more like Hot Head bread. Seriously, the damn thing was like handling a bread basketball. If i could go back and say something different, i'd call it Turks head after the knot, but it's out there now and they want me to do it again. I will, but i think i'll give it a few days first. It sure was nice eating off of Donna's new dinnerware. Yeah Yeah, i know you aren't supposed to give dishes as Christmas, but she dug it. If you doubt me, guess what i got. I got what every housewife dreams of getting, a 6qt crock pot with a latching lid so you can transport it. I have split pea soup in it now for later today. The only thing i'm left with that's not been covered is why, why on earth did her new dishes come with coffee cups that hold a half a litre??? Two cups the percolator is gone, but we fixed that. I'll tell you next time how that worked.
You guys take care of yourselves and the ones you love. None of us belong to anyone, we're simply on loan for a while. I bid you Safety, Peace, and Hope D

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Guess who's coming to Christmas Dinner

Oh joy of joys! It's three days before Christmas dinner and i'm getting to set an extra place. As with all things in my world, it's a long story but if there is any other kind i'm not familiar with it.
I had the menu for Christmas dinner all figured out and at the last minute i got word the woman my mother-in-law takes care of is coming with her. Normally, i don't mind additional people when we have special occasions, but this Christmas is different. I don't know why, it just is. I wanted this to be a quiet family only day. It doesn't help that i'm not a fan of this particular woman. If you compound that with her being in the latter stages of Alzheimer's, it doesn't paint such a glorious picture. I'm not sure if i'm irritated because my idea is blown apart or if it's due to her son's, that lives between her place and ours, refusal to have his mother in his house. Hell, it's not like i don't know what it's like when you don't like your mother at times, but i doubt i'd turn her away, especially on a family holiday. So, i scrapped the duck. Then, i scrapped the Cornish Hens. Next thing you know, Lamb was out. I've seen what she does to good old beef, so Prime Rib was never considered. Where did that leave me?? I'll tell you, mighty pissed off. It's like the one day a year the family can get together and no one goes anywhere. They don't sit on their phones or ipod's all day and every ones buddies are preoccupied. So, Ham is in. It's been a while since we have had any, so it'll be good. Green Beans Almondine and Loaded Mashed Potatos, with a Ceasar Salad with either a Cab Sav or Pinot Noir. I can't remember at what stage i got the wine and i'm not going back.
I swear, if anyone complains or comes up with some excuse to run out on me while she's here, i'm going to go live under the bridge.
Well, i have a few hours of sewing tomorrow so i ought to get to bed. With that, i'l leave you with ths thought: Text messaging is over rated!!!
Y'all take care of each other, D

Sunday, December 20, 2009

What the problem is???

I was out today at the laundry doing car towels and things, with the guys, and there was a homeless man lying on one of the benches. This guy, who looked like the fourth member of ZZ Top, was happily snoring along. I am guessing last night, having been in the twenties, he hadn't gotten much sleep. Be that as it may, it was nice and cozy warm in the laundry and Homie was sleeping well. Then the door burst open and this lady woke him up and asked him if he were homeless. He told her he was and she handed him a check. I thought, how wonderful. It's been a while since i have seen anyone really go out of their way like that. The homeless man blinked a couple of times, said thank you, and that's when the trouble started.
See, the lady had simply leaned in from the door. Since he was on the first bench, they were able to interact, though somewhat awkwardly. When she gave him the check, she was already recoiling back out the door. The whole time the homeless man was trying to thank her and explain to her that while she was very thoughtful, he wasn't able to cash a check and she should just take it back. There was this weird, angry exchange she had with him. He got very apologetic and she got very angry that her check wasn't good enough for him. The little boy that was with her, about twelve or thirteen even told her the man said he couldn't cash the check. I felt bad for them both. I mean one of them was trying to do something nice and the other was trying to be appreciative, but not have her wonder about her check. Naturally, I'm filling in the blanks here to the best of my own opinion given what i saw. It all ended with her taking the check and giving him an expletive and him lying back down to sleep.
About five or ten minutes later the parking lot security came driving up in his golf cart with, wait for it, that same good Samaritan in tow. She stood out on the sidewalk talking to the security guy for a few minutes. When i say talking, i mean it was either talking or she was showing him what great shape her arms were in. She was mad. The security guy came in and rousted the Homeless man. So ends this story.
I thought about what i had seen quite a bit this afternoon and evening. When you add it all up it's just a sad deal all the way around. I mean, would it have been so bad, if you were going to give a check to a homeless person, to walk up to them and say, "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya"?? I mean really, is an introduction so horribly bad?? I like to talk to people and i like to deal with things as they come, so I'm sure i would have introduced myself and then talked to him for a while. If he had refused my check, i don't think i would have gone to the bank for him, but i would have probably given him some cash if i had it on me. I doubt i would have gone to the ATM for him either. Of course i say that and once while i was in Chicago, i was walking around taking in the sights and met a homeless man named Stanley. Stanley was trying to sell me this beat up silk rose and at first i wasn't having any of it. I asked him if he were hungry and he said that he was and i offered him a piece of pizza in lieu of his nasty old rose. He directed me to a pizza window close by on Madison Ave and Stanley and I had pizza. While we were eating, he was telling me about all of the things going on in that area of town and that's when i found out Maya Angelou was doing an outdoor reading at the end of the block. We got another piece of pizza and off we went. Stanley left me with Maya and we shook hands, ugh, and he was gone. Stanley didn't smell too good, but was friendly enough. After Maya, i went looking for Mac Arthur Fountain, you know, the one from Married with Children. Somewhere along the way i lost my "help I'm a tourist map" and seemed to be walking in circles. I was down to three things on my todo list, the fountain, navy pier, and my cab ride down lower Wacker drive. At one point i had no idea where i was and just as i was about to give up guess who i heard giving his rose pitch in front of me. You got it, Stanley. I went and grabbed Stanley and found out that i was behind the Art Institute and he guided me to the fountain and you can see Navy Pier from there. I dug in my pocket and gave him ten bucks and a hearty thank you and i was off again, this time with a rose. You know, initially, i kept the rose because i was afraid that I'd run into Stanley and i didn't want to not have it and later i kept it cause it was such a great memory. It's in a box of stuff i have collected and it reminds me that you just never know what will happen when you take the time to talk to a person and listen to what they have to say.
While today's events were unfortunate, i just can't get over why that woman was willing to give money to a homeless man and then turn right around and report his loitering to the security guy. Especially since someone wasn't listening to what was being said. The next time around, I hope she meets a Stanley. I bet she'll end up with a tattered silk rose of her own.
Take care of Y'all, D

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Why else, because i can.

Well it's about three in the morning and I'm sitting here with my intrepid Dr Pepper listening to Bette Midler. It's hard to believe she's my mother's age. If she were playing anywhere but Vegas, I'd find a way to make a show. However, i just don't trust myself in Vegas, so I'll settle for the CD. However, if anyone ever makes it to a show i want the biggest T-shirt they have!!!
Okay, so the Christmas cards are done. I say that, but Donna K still has to write her notes in them to those she'll write notes too and I'm currently printing out a couple recipes that will get stuffed in them too. Listen! When you get a card from us, you don't soon forget it.
One of the recipes this year i got passed on to me by one of my homegirls from El Paso that lives up here. It's for a cheese ball, a chocolate cheese ball. It's not bad, a bit sweet, but maybe it wouldn't be if Donna would put something with it other than vanilla wafers!!! You know, just sitting here thinking about it, i bet it would taste a bit like a canole (kuh-no-lee) if you served it on water crackers. It's just a thought. Anyway, here it is in case you want to try it.

Chocolate Cheese ball
1 8oz package of cream cheese
3/4C powdered sugar
2T Brown sugar
1/4t Vanilla extract
3/4C Miniature chocolate chips
3/4C Finely chopped Pecans (However, it is my personal opinion this is better with sliced almonds that you have lightly toasted. Again, just my opinion)
Put it together:
In a medium bowl, beat the cream cheese until smooth. Mix in the powdered and brown sugar and vanilla. Stir in the chocolate chips. Cover and chill in the refrigerator for about an hour. When chilled, place cheese ball mixture on plastic wrap and form into a ball. Mine has been a little loose so after you form it into a ball with the plastic wrap, have a bowl that you can put the wrapped mixture in while chilling an additional hour. When it's re-chilled, remove from wrap and roll the ball in the finely chopped Pecans or Almonds, whatever you decided to do.

It's okay. I'm not real big on it. I've made it three times since i got the recipe and it seems to get eaten. I'm not sure who eats it, men or women, but it does get eaten and for me that's the important part. Nothing sucks worse than making something and then having to drag it back home with you because their dog didn't even want it. Anyway, so that's that.
It's like my stupid Tortilla Soup recipe. I HATE IT!!! The soup, the recipe, even the fact that i took on making it the first time. Deb will never hear the end of that one. Don't get me wrong it's probably my most requested recipe and that part is gratifying, but i certainly don't get the fascination with it.
There is another soup recipe i have i do like. Well several, but I'm talking about the one i made for today. I first made this soup, or something like it, about ten years ago. I was looking for a soup that was fairly hearty and had a real good Asian flavor to it. What i ended up with is something that has become Ginger Chicken Soup. Now i have to tell you with two teenage boys in the house i tend to make enough food for a medium sized enclosure at the zoo on any given day of the week. This seems only fair i guess when you consider the apes i cook for. Now i don't stand over the stove all day in my frilly apron and my pearls. Donna Reed I'm not, but i do spend my fair share of time in there. Since i do spend an amount of time in the kitchen and I'm extremely lazy, i have made an art out of delivering on one without compromising the other. My partners in crime for this are my crock pot ( roughly the size of a small bath tub) and my roaster. There is my showtime rotisserie too, but don't ask. I love that thing so much that i have replaced nearly every part that can be replaced and i have about three years left on the super extended warranty i got when i replaced the glass door. OOPS!!!
Well today, it was me, my crock pot and Ginger Chicken Soup.
Ginger Chicken Soup
( i have converted some of the items in this recipe to prepared items for the expedience of others, but feel free to adulterate it at will)
Take 4 Chicken breasts and marinate them overnight in a mixture of Teriyaki baste and glaze, a little soy sauce to thin that down some and a good table spoon or two of fresh grated ginger.
Take one of the three pound boxes of chicken stock and pour that into your crock pot on the day you want to make the soup. To that add a table spoon of Chili and Garlic sauce, usually it can be found on the Asian aisle in most grocery stores and add a quarter cup of lite soy sauce. Take a good sized finger of ginger and peel it. I slice it thinly in two directions so it makes little sticks and add all of that to the soup stock. Take your marinated chicken breasts and cook them up in a grill pan or cast iron skillet or whatever you like. Hell you could do them on the grill the night before and then pull them out of the refrigerator the next morning. Take the cooked chicken and cup it up into small bite sized pieces and add to the pot. Now for the hard part. I don't put much else in the soup, so if you want to add to it knock yourself out. The night before cut up a head of napa cabbage. I usually slice it like cutting up a water melon when you are giving kids quarter slices and put that in a bowl. Then either buy pre-cut mushrooms or cut those up and put them in a bowl. Get a bag of snow peas or those real thin green beans. If you get those you'll need to snap them to an inch long or so. Now with your soup stock and chicken and other stuff in the crock pot on low you can go to work or whatever. When you get back about an hour or less before you want to eat start adding the veggies to the pot. The peas or green beans take the longest to cook but that really isn't all that long. All you are really trying to do is to get a good wilt on your veggies before you eat. They'll be bright and have a little crisp still and the broth is just great. I know this sounds really confusing, but this is the first time i have ever written it down. ( Donna made me!!!) She doesn't like soup, but she had it for lunch today and will again tomorrow. She and my big boy had a rock, paper, scissors thing to see who got the last bowl and she won. You know, if they wanted more all they had to do was ask i think i have enough stuff in there to make another pot. Shhhhhh, I'm planning on using the rest of that chicken to make a version of sesame chicken on Thursday.
Okay, i got that down. Now i can go do something. Who knows, maybe i'll try to go to sleep. Hey, stranger things have happened.
Till the next outburst, y'all take care of each other, D

Monday, December 14, 2009

Spin Me Right Round

Okay, for a little bit of house keeping before i get into what i will eventually get into. First, my best good girl friend had her twin girls last Thursday and they are beautiful. In fact, they are pretty enough to be mine. I think they'll get to go home tomorrow and i hope she gets them on a schedule pretty quickly, after all, she's only got two arms.
Next, I'd like to thank the dynamic duo of Painted Groove Girl and Lavender Chick for the advice on the dress I'll be making. You guys got my brain going in a direction i would never have thought of and "I Thank You". Though, i found three i loved and what I'll make will be the bottom of one, the top of the second, and the sleeves of the third. I mean that's fair right?? Of course it is, I mean it's no crazier than the Catholic School Girl outfit.
Lavender Chick made the news twice this time. In my best Scooby Doo, Old Man Withers' voice, "I wouldn't have had to buy a new coffee pot (Percolator) if it hadn't been for that pesky Lavender Chick." She wrote this wonderful little blog about replacing her broken coffee pot with a percolator and something in my head started working. I remembered what my grandfather said about smelling the coffee as it perc's and it just tasting better. Ya know, It is so much better it makes me wonder if there is a fan of percolator coffee group on Face Book??
Lastly, the Christmas cards are coming along nicely. I got the calligraphy finished and have most of the raffia part done. We managed to get a couple pics out of my camera before it died a hideous death. I was going to buy one today and blog about the cards, but maybe Santa is going to hook me up. I wouldn't want to ruin anyone's plans, so I'll just let that go for now.
Well, that's the news or the housekeeping portion of this. You might want to change the channel at this point if you have a weak constitution....LOL
I have always written. What I'm talking about are stories, poetry, journaling, diary (if you will), and letters. It started around age twelve and i haven't stopped yet. When the Internet came along i pretty much put down my paper journals and almost exclusively write online. I had accounts on a few different sites including the old Yahoo 360 where i had about five hundred entries. Of course when they closed that site and moved it to whatever it became i just downloaded a copy of all my crap and went back to paper journaling again. That is until, okay so she made it three times this week, Lavender Chick suggested this site. I am happy here. No one has said anything about anything i have posted, not that i have posted anything acidic, but it's coming I'm afraid. I go through spells where i end up annoying someone so, we'll see.
You know i have this compulsion to write and waited nearly fifteen years to complete my degree and still i haven't found what it is I'm supposed to do. I feel like I'm on one of those playground merry-go-rounds, but there is no way to get off. I just keep going around in circles. I'd at least like to say I'm dizzy or queasy or something but I'm not. If I'm anything I'm tired. I'm tired of being second in so many things. Now before you think this is about my children, i knew before they got here I'd have to put them first. I mean that's what parents do. I don't want to come off as a whiner, oh poor pitiful me or anything like that. I'd just like to accomplish some goals i have set for myself. Nearly ten years ago i hatched a plan to go to the San Jacinto Monument and just sit there with a pad and my pen and see what I'd write. To put this in perspective, i used to sit under the bridge there at Kokernot lodge, on the deep side of the creek and write. I did that from the time i was in about eighth grade right up until, the last time, just a few years ago. I wrote some really good stuff there. Very little of what i wrote there was viable material, but it was all good stuff. Now, i have been to Houston about a hundred times in the last ten years and not once did i get closer than thirty miles from the monument. Unless you count the time we went to see my Brother-in-Law's football team play in some playoff game. Yeah, that was cool, but... In 2003, I noticed just how close we are to the LBJ National Grasslands. Hey, now there is a place i bet i could go and sit and write something interesting. Well, in six years we haven't gotten any closer than Chinatown Restaurant on the west side of Denton. Even this summer while the guys and i were in Alpine I had plans of doing some stuff that would afford me a change of scenery and hopefully recharge the source of where i get the stuff i write. The last time i went on a little adventure i wrote "The Last Chapter". It was really good and something that is viable. I have since polished it up and am hanging onto it for my collection of short stories. Okay, just so you know, i have a collection of short stories, two cookbooks, a kids book, a trilogy and a stand alone novel all in the works. As i run out of inspiration on one I usually pick up one of the others. What i am afraid of is that i am going to look back at the end of my life and have nothing more than one hell of a collection of sentences. You know, Here lies Dave, He wrote good sentences...LOLOL I need a break, a respite, even if it is only here at home. I know I'm not alone in this, but i am asking for it. Is it all that unreasonable??
Oh look at that, times up Mr D. We'll have to pick this up next time.
You guys take care of Y'all, D

Thursday, December 10, 2009

One Man's Anachronism is Another Man's Romantic Necessity

This time of year my mind turns to Christmas and all of the Holiday Traditions that have evolved in our home. Many of these i got from my Grandparents or my folks, but most of the really cool ones (wait for it) were my idea!!! Okay, that was shameless, but hey; What fun is it to be who you are if you don't get to do your things?? Like does that make any sense to anyone but me?? I'm not sure the bats in the belfry got that one.


Some years ago as we were receiving our Christmas cards like we do every year, there was one in there from Hughes, where i used to work. Yeah, now Hughes is a huge company, or was, but their Christmas card was the nicest, coolest, neatest, most personal card we got that year. It got me to thinking. What did i send out for Christmas cards?? Well i went and looked and Dude, lemme tell you the ones i sent out that year had a picture of a Poinsettia on the front and a horrible verse inside with a broken rhyme. YUK!!!! I vowed at that moment that i was going to have cool cards from that day forward. I mean if a big old company like Hughes can do it right, shouldn't I be able to put something in the mail that makes people go, "oh cool, what a great card!"


One year, i made the paper the cards were printed on. Yeah that was cool but it wasn't so exciting. I have printed years worth of cards off of the old printer that i have designed in Word, Excel (LOL), even AutoCad. Usually, we'll take a picture and send pictures with them and have even done photo cards. Though those didn't come out as cool as i had hoped cause the guy at the picture people didn't like us.


For a number of years i have wanted to take all of the old cards that we have been sent, that i have been holding on to, and spread them out and take a picture of them to use as the picture on the front. I think that would be cool, but i really have to wonder if anyone would recognise any of their cards in the picture. Which brings me to this year.


This year i went to Michael's and got some cards that were blank on some paper that i thought was pretty cool. I am going to use my Calligraphy pens (dip pens) to write the verse i have written for the inside. Then i got some raffia and I'm going to tie them up (sort of) so they look like presents and inside the card I'm going to put a recipe or two and something else. If i put everything in it that has been talked about it will end up looking like that coupon clipper envelope that comes in the mail. It's a monstrous undertaking, but it plays right into my "A" Number 1 Romantic Necessity.


The Romantic Necessity i am speaking of is letter writing. I know it's an anachronism, but damn, there is almost nothing more thoughtful to me than getting a letter. Don't get me wrong, I'm not that far gone toward the loony bin. Email, Texting, and Phone calls all have their place, but a letter that is hand written is so very personal. Think of it this way, the letter writer sat down and spent time out of their day to write you a letter. Any way you shake it, that's giving of yourself and it's a terribly intimate thing. There aren't enough people writing them anymore, but I'm sure I'll do it till i die. I know i will, i have enough stationery for two lifetimes...LOL If you've gotten mail from me then you know what i'm saying is true.



*If you want a card all you have is but to ask.


One last thing. I haven't the ability to pick a best friend in this world. I am very close with a very small number of people and just can't put one ahead of all the others. One of them, as Forrest Gump would say, Best Good Girl Friend is having her twins today and as i close this, i want to say that my thoughts are continually with her. In the years since i met her she has gone from something of an annoyance to my most trusted confidante and the world will most assuredly be enriched with a little more of her in it. I had a daughter once that told me, "All things will be made whole through sacrifice and grace." I wouldn't be alive to tell you that if i didn't wholly believe it.
Take care of yourselves, so that you can take care of the ones you love. D

"Fat bottomed girls make the rockin world go round" 12/10/09 4:18AM

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Like Heroin for Cigarettes, Obsiquience, and Your Thoughts

I'm not sure what all i have to say, but it's in 3 parts
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Well it has been three weeks since i quit smoking. Now before you start saying way to go and all of that, finish reading the post. I have always said if i could make it through the first day i could quit for good. For me the hard part has always been getting through the evening hours to complete that day. Well a few weeks back i got sick. Okay, here is where i'm going to diverge a bit. I know the flu is a virus and that once you have it your body makes anti-bodies and you aren't supposed to get it again. Like the Chicken Pox, which i got three damn times. A couple Nurse friends of mine said i'll probably get shingles when i get older, so i have that going for me. Well my big son gave me the flu and i no sooner got to feeling better and i got flu-like symptoms again. As if that weren't bad enough, before i could get over that something malicious settled into my chest and i got antibiotics and other pills to make me better. I was miserable, but by that time i had put the cigarettes down for a few days hoping that i might get better, faster. Or, maybe i'd just not smoke and be sick. Okay, so back to the stream, i didn't smoke for over two weeks. I mean not even a sneaker drag or anything. To be quite honest, i didn't much think about it and the days came and went without lighting up. Then, a few days ago i started noticing that i was glad i wasn't smoking, but that my desire to smoke was back. I didn't want to smoke all the time, but i did have moments when i sure thought about it.
Yes, i fell off the wagon. I'm kind of a do it all kinda guy and was replacing a watch battery in one of Donna's Goofy watches and was having the devil of a time getting the back back on the watch. As i remember, this watch is a bear to get the back on. Something happened and i lost my cool and that was it. I smoked. That was yesterday and i smoked three last night. I mean i went three weeks and then smoked three cigarettes yesterday and i thought i'd feel more guilty about it than i do. I started smoking in Basic Training in the Army and that was in the summer of '83 and in all the years since, the longest i have gone without a cigarette has been no longer than hours. That is, not counting the times i couldn't smoke because of playing Army or working DPS in Arizona. I smoked a few today, but i think i'm going to go back to not smoking tomorrow. I really do feel better, i just wish i didn't like to smoke so much.
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I have a whole pile of stuff going on right now that i never thought i'd be worrying about at my age. For several years some of my friends have wondered if i have always been "Surly". Well, i don't think so, but how does one know if one is or is not surly. I have identified part of what the query is all about though. You know the joke about the woman that tries on a pair of jeans and asks her husband if the jeans make her ass look fat and the atuned husband replies," no, it's your ass that does that." Well, i'm that guy i guess. It's not because i'm mean, it's because i refuse to be some obsiquious little worm. I know plenty of those. This has led to a loyal following of people who call on me for my opinion because they know i will tell them the truth. Well this guy that always tells his friends the truth has been lying chronically to one of them like some Captain Milquetoast and though i can not or will not assuage the dilema at this time, i am forever anotating it for myself now.
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Now, This next part has to do with the whole "High School" experience. Oh, where to begin. While i can't say that i have the best memories of High School i do have fond ones for a great many things. I can look back at some of the teachers i had and think, yeah they had an impact on me or no not so much. Some of the people i'll never forget and some i miss seeing. The thing that is really on my mind sort of breaks down like this. I remember very fondly, and this is in no particular order, Band, pep rallies, contests, welding and AG, cruising up and down the one ways, rangra theatre, road side, grassy banks, the duck pond, the coke plant, Lope's tank, Mrs Powell, Starr Warford, Mrs Matthews, the dances, just kinda the whole package. I hope this makes sense to someone. Now here's the thing. I want both of my boys to have that. Maybe not to the extent that i did, (Keep your giggles to yourself, i know what i said)but the whole experience. The high school here after what is now nearly half a year had a pep rally at homecoming and one when they made the playoffs. Mind you they went to quarter finals. Then, they have only had the one dance and that was at homecoming. Other than that, it doesn't seem like there's much of my version in this high school. Now, this isn't a question of friends, i know that because i hate his cell phone. He's in a couple of Pre AP classes and he started every game and was a captain for the second half of the season. He will also likely take district in Shot Put this year. Is this what 5A High School is?? Am i looking for something that's an illusion or was the isolation of the desert the catalyst for such an experience and that's the only place they'll get that?? I really am looking for your thoughts on this. Peace be upon thee. D