Lactaid and the Humble Little Almond

There are few things in this world i cherish more, food wise that is, than ice cream. It's cold and creamy smooth with just the amount of sweetness you're looking for at any given time. Feel like something gooey, ice cream and caramel. Care for something just a little sweet, with very little fuss, vanilla with a bit of cinnamon on top. Oh, this could take days. Especially, if you've ever seen what they do with ice cream at places like Marble Slab. There's a problem with this picture for some of us; Lactose. For some of us that is the biggest four letter word in our diets, next to cholesterol, trans-fats, and eggplant.

I am lactose intollerant. As near as i can remember, i started having issues with milk and especially ice cream in the Army. I loved my Army doctor. He was a good old fashioned country boy and on the subject of milk, he was like that old joke: Hey doc, it hurts when i do this, and the Doctor says, then don't do that. So, for the most part, i gave up milk. I drank powdered milk for a while, it seemed to bother me less, and i even had goats milk. It just wasn't the same and neither made good ice cream. Now, i must confess, i wasn't ever a huge fan of milk like some people. I generally only had milk with cereal and in ice cream. I wasn't one of those drink from the carton kids.

Several years passed and i got to where i just didn't eat cereal and only ate ice cream sparingly. Some where in there i was introduced to lactaid by a friend. Ah, ice cream, my old friend. For a while it seemed to work fine, but then its efficacy seemed to wane a bit. I could have a glass of chocolate milk, but again, ice cream was my drug of choice you might say. I could eat ice cream with lactaid and it was tolerable, but i'd feel ugly the next day. Preferable to the pain, but not a good fix. Alas, am i doomed to a life without ice cream??

A few months ago, my son "bucket-face", yes i really call him that but it's not his Christian name, was put on a milk holiday to see if there was something in the milk making his acne worse. He's a carton tipper, jug junkie and all around milk monger!!! ACK!!! While he was on this holiday we got him soy milk. There are a few different brands of soy milk and they are all faily similar. He and his 14yr old taste buds told me it was as good as milk, maybe better. I smelled it and it had this machine smell to me. I couldn't drink it. I did try it and like i said we bought a few different brands, but they all had that smell to me and the after taste just grossed me out. I have a thing about smells. Smells can send me every where from lust to hiding under a bridge. So, i couldn't bring myself to eat a bowl of cereal with the soy milk. What this did do however, was make me want a bowl of cereal. I started remembering how i would drag my mondo box of Grape Nuts to the chow hall and suddenly i was struck with a full on craving. Ya see, my regular chow hall in the Army had both kinds of cereal, corn flakes and rice crispies. I liked Life and Grape Nuts. Solution?? Take your own to the chow hall.

Which sort of brings me to the crux of this whole thing. I want a bowl of cereal, but i don't want the after effects of eating it. Oh, what's a forty something foodie to do?? Enter, the Blue Diamond Almond Milk commercial. Now, i went to Germany and have indulged in some of the wondrous things they do with almonds and almond paste, so i naturally thought that either the Germans or George Washington Carver must have invented almond milk. I was wrong both times. Shhh, don't tell anyone. Almond milk enjoys a very long history stemming from the Middle East. This nugget made Donna smile as she is of Lebanese ancestry. Anyway, back to the Blue Diamond commercial. I jumped up and ran to the store to get me some of that stuff. I figured the worst case scenario being, Bucket-face could drink it. Oh, don't tell me you've never bought something, found out you didn't like it and then gave it to someone else. Kids are good for disposing of food that doesn't hit the spot and as far as that goes, Bucketface is the best.

The store didn't have any almond milk. It took a few days, but i found it. It's just under three bucks a half gallon here and here are the results according to my experience and taster. All they had was vanilla, no plain or chocolate. I opened it and smelled it. Weird thing, it smelled a bit like almonds. Go figger, right?? I'm not sure what i was expecting it to smell like, but it smells a bit of almonds. I poured a swallow or two into a glass. Taste, it tastes like a melted vanilla milk shake with a hint of almond. It's absolutely lovely. It's even great on cereal. I had the first bowl of Grape Nuts in nearly fifteen years. In the last couple weeks, i have had it on Cheerios (if you are a sugar hound, Don't Sugar cereal with Vanilla Almond Milk), Life Cereal and i even put it in a bowl with a fresh hot homemade brownie much like you might use ice cream. Excellent! Test number two, if you freeze it, does it separate when it freezes and thaws. Ultimately, i am going to make awesome ice cream with it. It is fairly stable from freezer to thaw and back. It will need some fat to make a good ice cream. Most of the recipes i have found use coconut milk, but i'm thinking avocado. Why not?? Alton Brown from the Food Network makes a cake subbing avocado for both the egg and oil, and it's pretty good. Don't go ew on me just yet, avocado has a very light flavor in comparison to coconut and might more readily lend itself to ice cream. I'll let you know. Till then, don't fear the lactose and don't endure the soy or rice, enjoy the almond. Afterall, would i lie to you??

Y'all take care of each other, D