I Have Valuable Time at 49

     I rounded another milestone last week. Birthdays! When you are young they seem like grand family occasions. It's the one day of the year when the collective attention is expended upon you. Cake. Ice Cream. Presents. Laughter and smiles, the soft underpinning of family galvanized around a central theme. Homespun magic.

     As time passes, these magical events change. For many of us, they morph into a ritual performed more for our children than ourselves. Honestly, I believe I enjoy those more than the ones of my childhood. 

     My children have grown past that point and are entering the phase where they are spending their own money and time to recognize my birthday. It's strangely new, but comfortable. How can any thinker not be fully aware this evolution happens. 

     Many years ago, my daughter and I had an occasion to discuss what would be the perfect birthday gift for me. Actually, it didn't start out that way. The best I can remember would be it started out with the formula for how much to spend on an engagement ring if you are a man. The answer to that, according to the diamond industry, would be where the value of the ring is equal to one months salary. That is when our conversation turned to how much money should a person spend on a parents birthday present. You know, as in what would be proper. The subjectivity of this truly is mind altering. I told her it really isn't about the amount of money you spend, rather being able to identify with the recipient and their likes, dislikes and desires. 

     Finally, we got to the real question. She wanted to know how much money my ideal birthday present would cost. I told her it wouldn't really cost any money at all. She didn't understand. How could the perfect birthday present for me cost nothing. I told her it just didn't. So naturally, she wanted to know what it was. I told her I couldn't tell her. Not that it's a secret or classified or salacious, it just happens to not cost any money. I told her in time she'd figure it out and that we'd both have a great laugh over it when she did. 

     You know, I've been around the sun forty nine times and it occurs to me, i inadvertently lied to her that day. I told her she'd figure it out and that we'd have a big laugh when she did. As many of you know, she's gone beyond this world. I think that is the very thesis of the chat she and I had that day. That chat. The fleeting moment between us that day was the best present. Truly, it's the best present any of us can ever receive. Those stolen, fleeting, cherished moments which color our lives. There is nothing more precious than time.

     I am haunted by time and its cherished moments. Though the moments yet to come gird me against any misery I may carry. 

     This year, my older son left me two bags of peanut butter M&M's, a rather large bottle of Lemon Tea and a handwritten note. The tea and candy, though i consumed them, meant nothing to me. Conversely, his handwritten note I placed in my Bible. It's only two lines long with a signature, but no platinum or gold could ever replace it.

     I received some really nice presents this year. Among them, an Immersion Circulator which I will use the hell out of.  Just less than 50% of my Facebook friends list clicked the little Happy Birthday alert. (I have to admit that I really love that!!!) Even more interesting is that 26% of the list chose to write a complete sentence. Those I really love. This speaks volumes for the people on that list.

     Finally my younger son, whom just finished High School, had no money and wanted to borrow some to go get me a present and probably a huge tub of coke from the quick shop down the street. I told him it wasn't necessary for him to spend money on me. I thanked him for recognizing my birthday and that was plenty. He said, "Well is there anything I can do for you?" You have to know this made me smile. I fixed us a couple of Dr. Peppers and we just sat at the table and talked for a good long while. We even got in a few rounds of dominos. There was my son: no phone, no headphones, no TV. Just he and I spending time together. 

     As you may have guessed it, that was my favorite present this year. He took time out of his world to spend some in mine. There is no truer gift I can imagine. My fervent prayer is that he, his brother, and all the rest of us come to realize the value of time. 

     Though it is a miracle to get a word in edgewise when talking to me at times; I understand the value. I know that long after that Immersion Circulator is all used up and gone, A few sentences online, A hand or two of Dominos, A handwritten note, or even a beloved conversation from the front porch possesses a value which will never dim. 

Until I write again, find your time and Peace be with you, D

First Post of '14; Maybe I'll Post More Often This Year.

Well, it's January 1st, 2014. Who'd've thunk it!!! (Fear not! I can write that way. I have an English Degree and I love breaking the rules.)
Traditionally, i write a post in the first week of the year talking about the previous year and i'll have it no different this year. I admit 2013 is a bit of a blur to me. I'd love nothing more than to blame this on some strange continual stupor due to the Agavaceae, but i just can't.  Yes, Agavaceae, is a real word and it's a whole lot more fun than writing Tequila and Sotol. Okay, enough hand holding, either keep up or i'll pull your library card.
I believe 2013 is a blur because there really were some significant moments in the year that just don't rear their ugly heads all too often. We had a record snowfall early in the year and i got to go driving in just over two feet of snow. When you drive a 25 year old Isuzu Trooper, snow like that suddenly becomes a "Call to Arms". What a wonderful, wonderful few days that was. Though on the other side of that, my trip to Alpine in November for ArtWalk was far better suited for a Zamboni!!!
I learned the wonderful feeling that comes from watching your child graduate high school and the unbelievable boredom that accompanies the ceremony. Great day and pretty good food!
My trip this year took me to Dallas for a few days. In considering some of the places i have gone in the past, Dallas doesn't seem like all that much, but it turned out to be the right place at the right time. I will remember that trip for many years to come (Mango smoothy and a bubble bath). Which reminds me, if you are ever in Denton stop by Ravelyn Bakery. Everything is artisan and wonderful. I usually get some multi-grain bread of some kind with spelt and the spinach and feta croissants are amazing. I have to admit the chocolate and almond ones aren't bad either. Hell! Just get one of everything.
I started Grad School this fall. Grad School. Me?? It's funny just how disparate a Composition Degree is from a Literature Degree. At the University of North Texas, i was taught how to write for nearly any audience. The one thing we didn't spend much time on was Academic Writing. As life would have it, Academic Writing is the sole form of writing in a Literature Program. Cough, Gag, Splat!!! It's not all bad. I dropped a class and got an A and a B in the other two. So, as ill prepared as i was for this, i'm surviving. The program is a struggle for me because i'm not one of those people who reads a book and then asks questions about what the author was thinking by giving the little girl a grape snow cone (As though I give a shit). After this is over, i'll probably end up at Texas State in San Marcus. (Is that Texas State??)
As many of you know, all of my friends, well 95% of my friends are girls. Okay, maybe that's not fair anymore. I don't see myself as being of sufficient age to call these ladies, women, but girls seems a bit pejorative. They are all brilliant and beautiful and add so much to the world. I guess it's okay to call them women. Not surprising, i made a few new friends at school and i even made friends with a guy. I know it's weird, but he's no chest pounding neanderthal, so we made fast friends. One of the other highlights of my year came this fall when i reconnected with a friend (female) from my youth. I had always remembered her fondly. She was a dynamo. Guess what!!! She's still a dynamo, though now she's a dynamo with experience!!! The best part i would guess is that she's still an island of honesty in a sea of half truths and I just love that about her.
So, the year came and went. No trumpets! No fanfare! Only the tireless ticking of time which proceeds whether we do or not. To some degree, I did move forward. Did I get fair value for my time this past year? I think not.
I'm asserting that this year I will strive to realize a greater value for my time. I'll be returning to my meditations as, in reflection, 2013 was a pretty angry year for me. Lots of anger and wasted time. I don't need it; I don't want it; And certainly as all human's know, we can't afford it. Life is too precious.
I'm going to thank a few people (which is always a dangerous activity) for their role in this previous year. If you're not on this list, chalk it up to me being crazy and tired.  Many thanks to: Virginia, always a breath of fresh air; Hummingbird, Mrs and Mr Groove, Pug Love, and LP, as disjointed at it was, it meant alot being there; Canyon Coffee Girl, you reaffirm my faith in people; Canyon Beat Poet, you the man Hoss; C.A.T. Woman, The conscience i'll never have; Tacoma Teaser, for all the reasons and post cards too; Shanny Wanny, all that and brilliant too; and Bubbles, purveyor of the most painful of priceless.
To everyone, I wish you a wonderful journey through 2014
Peace Be With You All, DDDDave

P.S. Still pushing for a June Release of "Voices From A Friendly State"

Part Buffalo, All Dave

Nearly three years ago when we moved to Amarillo, i had it fixed in my head that once i returned to the Dallas area i'd get my Master's Degree. Well, i'm tired of waiting. Earlier this year, i applied to West Texas A&M to enter their Master's Program for English and was accepted. Kinda like, if you can tolerate us, then we'll tolerate you. A month or so later i met with a few of the faculty about a Graduate Assistantship. I haven't heard about that yet, but they won't get all charged up about that for a few more weeks. Providing i survive this evolution, i'll return home to The University of North Texas and their fabulous English Department for my Ph.D. But, that's a whole other show.

I'm really curious as to what school will be like. My earliest experiences with college happened at a small Division III school. I carried a "B" average and never bought a book. I tried this approach at North Texas and it being a Div. I school was an exercise in flawed thought. I remember my first semester there and my books, which i bought on the fourth class day, cost me $500.50 Dollars. You know i let out a mild gasp and the sales clerk didn't even seem to notice. That semester i had 15 novels for a utopic/dystopic literature class and 7 readers for an American fiction class. I'd never read that much in my life and doubt i have since. It was rough, but i learned a hell of a lot and that speaks volumes for the faculty there and like my favorite professor of all time "Haj" said, "you put some work into it too".

Well here's to putting some work back into it. Classes begin on August 26th, so i'm off to clear my head and find my pen. Sorry i haven't posted in so long, but i had a child graduate from high school and I swear i have less time now than i did before. I guess it is time for me to hang up my apron and get back to my stuff. It's just a little difficult shifting gears. Don't mind me, i'll find my feet rest assured.

Till i talk with you again, Peace Be With You, D

Bucket's Heading On

Today is May 6th. In Thirty-Three days, my older son will graduate from Tascosa High School. I'm not sure what I was expecting this time to be like, from Prom to Graduation, but this sure isn't it. I had visions of a generally happy time in which there would be several conversations about what the future might hold for him and how to get there. Boy, was I living in a bubble!
Now, I do know he is experiencing Senioritis and certainly has fears about leaving the nest. These i'd consider to be normal feelings for someone his age. The thing i hadn't counted on is the moodiness that goes with it. Don't get me wrong, I love my son, but i'd love to brain him with a two by and get his attention. I'm sure he'll survive the transition, but will i have any hair left by then is the question. I'm a little short on that already!
I know i do quite a bit of complaining, but all things considered he's a good kid. He's principled, chosen a noble career, and has a great work ethic. I realize things could be a lot worse.

As you might have guessed, he's going to be a Fireman, Firefighter, Calendar Guy, whatever your euphemism, you get the idea. And in case you are wondering, YES, his arms and chest are that big. 6' and a bit and 230lbs! I was going to attach the youtube video of him bench pressing what I weigh a couple times over, but it's not sticking tonight.  He's a gentle giant that will succeed or drive me crazy doing it.
This one is for you Bucket!!! I'm proud of you and I Love you, but i can still kick your ass anytime i want.
Until i visit with you again, May Peace Be With You,  D       a.k.a. Bucket's Dad

48 Trips Around and I'm a Bit Dizzy!

This past weekend, I turned 48 years old. I know some people like to church it up and say things like you're only as old as you feel or so many years young, but i can't at this time. Honestly, for the first time in my life i'm feeling a bit my age and its given me a good shake. That's right, Shaken Davey Syndrome!!!
I don't know if it's the anxiety or the hormones or the meds, but something isn't playing well with others. My neck has all the characteristics of a Slinky, but sounds like a Maraca. My body unfolds like a rusty iron gate and i seem to have picked up a new symptom. I guess i got that as a present, cause the crap i live with now isn't fun enough. Now, when i lay down i have vertigo. Overall, vertigo isn't all that bad. I mean it's annoying, but tolerable. With that said, i must put the other piece that goes with it. It only happens to me when i lay down. Yep, that's right, when i lay down i have bouts of falling through the floor or of movement when i'm not moving. Freaky Huh?? The solution is probably a simple one. You know, quit smoking, lose a hundred pounds and stop getting irritated at people. Yeah, i could do that, but i'm pretty sure i'd spontaneously combust in the grocery store. All this aside, i really could be a lot worse off. So, enough whining for now.
For my birthday, my oldest and dearest friend in the whole wide world came up for the weekend. It was amazing having the Sarge around the guys for the weekend. They didn't know whether to scratch their watches or wind their butts. It was great fun.
I'm thinking the calendar is beginning to bite him in the ass too. I actually watched him sit in a chair and be comfortable not doing anything. What's even more surprising than that is he layed on the couch and watched a movie from start to finish without getting up to walk around.
When we made plans for him to come visit, he had only one request and that was to take us out for a steak dinner on him. He said about a million times, "find a good steak joint, i wanna take y'all out". So, we put out the feelers to the locals and got two options: Hoffbrau or The Big Texan. Since Hoffbrau, at best, is a B- steak joint, we opted for The Big Texan. (authors intrusion: I could write a good half dozen posts on this place) What i will say is this; he ate half his steak, she ate half of hers, i ate the horn and the strip around the bottom of my prime rib and gave the eye to my big kid. No, the portions weren't too big (though ample), it's that it became a labor to eat. Who ever heard of prime rib that is tough at a steak house that is nationally ranked?? I felt bad, so i made him ribs the next day.
Well, he went home and life returned to what it is. It was a pretty good birthday all things considered. I mean nobody blew anything up or had their compound stormed or was caught up in a mass shooting. I have to admit with all the history of April 19th, i'm pretty happy when nothing overly horrible happens on that day.
Now, onward through to the next...
Till i post again, Peace be with you, D

Quail Eggs and Pork Bellies

 I was drug here, almost to the day 27 months ago, kicking and screaming like a bratty ass five year old jacked up on Skittles and Starbucks. In all this time, i have tried to give Amarillo the benefit of the doubt. For instance: This is a major center for beef packing, so naturally i believed I'd be able to buy really nice beef here. WRONG! I don't know where the good stuff goes, but it isn't here. (Not even to the boutique butcher shops)  My one hard and fast criteria for moving here was there be one good Chinese place. Again, Donner assured me this place was littered with them and certainly one of them had to be good. (Or Not!) Finally, i love my produce. I want a reasonable selection that's been taken care of where i don't feel like I'm wasting my money and should just get the frozen variety. To say I'd lost that lovin' feelin' a few times would be more than fair.
It was during one of these low times, i discovered Meyer Lemons at the local grocery store. They had two bags and it was pure reflex that i grabbed them both. I instantly ran down the list of fish and picked my top five. Well five turned to four and so on... Lastly, i was left with a sad little block of frozen flounder. A little butter, white pepper, and i got my poach on. At last, I lived to eat another day. Within a few days that dozen Meyer's were a memory. Slowly, the sudden glow of sunshine on my culinary adventures here began to cloud over. Once again, i was back to the same ol', same ol'.
During the rest of last year, i kept an eye out for the occasional "treat", but alas i was left wanting. When we took a trip to Ruidoso, i wanted to pack a lunch basket with some reasonable water ham and Jarlsberg. Three deli counters in town and all three asked what that was. It boggles the mind! In their defense, they did know what Swiss cheese was.
Once again, i had all but given up on this town. I'd begun to make peace with the mundane and lack of anything remotely different. Then i spent ten days out in civilization.
Oh joy of joys!!! I had great Chinese four times, hell, maybe five. I bought romaine hearts and we had a great chicken salad. It felt like i was being shown sunlight for the very first time! Then like all good things, it ended. I came home and locked myself away from the world until I'd had a sufficient amount of time to sulk. Personal sulk time is highly under-rated!
As i was coming out of my funk, i had to go to the store and both boys just had to come with me. I swear, the fascination with going to the store eludes me. (I've probably written about this part before, so please forgive me.) While at the store, one of the boys was climbing up my neck in the way only a teenage boy can. He wanted to help and so i told him to go ask the produce guy at The Devilstore where the blood oranges were. I knew this was a safe one and he'd be gone for a while. Or Not!!!
Yeah, they had them alright. so i got two bags and went home and enjoyed the moment. They hadn't really ripened enough, but they were quite lovely still. That happened around the middle of January.
Two weeks later, we were at the store and discovered they had Cara Cara's. SCORE!!! It appeared that i was in a rally of foods i had written off for this hamlet. Then last week i had to go to the doctor.
Don't be alarmed, it's something that happens from time to time. I have been watching this one piece of skin on my hand and it just kept getting angrier and angrier. So, i took a couple of pics and sent them to my Homegirl Bubbles for an opinion. She's got her game ON in this department. So, on her advice, i went to get it checked out and we'll see, but in the meantime, i did get to have a great conversation with my doctor.
He's originally from Corpus Christi. I told him he should have been a girl because some of the prettiest girls I've ever seen came out of Corpus.
Anyway, he and i have this familiarity between us. He asked if i had been to the new market yet and i asked him, "What market?"
He filled my ears with visions of OZ!!! So, naturally i had to go there Saturday. I'd love to say he was mistaken, but he was not. Their produce department is awesome. Who'd have thunk you could get whole bamboo shoots and fresh basil and green mangoes and even pudding fruit in Amarillo.
As if that weren't enough, their meat is pretty good and reasonably priced. I did help myself to some quail eggs while i was there, but i left the pig uterus for someone else. One of the best things i saw that day were whole redfish and their eyes were still clear. I will be back on grocery days that's for sure. The only thing that bothered me about the whole experience was, quite petty but, they had twelve different types of preserved duck eggs and even packages of duck egg yolks, but they didn't have a single fresh duck egg in the place. If they can solve that i think i might just have a love here afterall.

Until i visit with you again, Peace Be With You, D

Can I Get The Recipe??

"Can I get the recipe?", has to be the greatest single inverse in any kitchen. Let me attempt to clarify what i mean by inverse. For instance; you eat something you really enjoy and you ask your friend, mom, sister,etc for the recipe. This is the easy part and trust me when i say it's quite flattering when it's your recipe being asked for. Remember, this is the easy part. Now, let's put some context to this as an aid in producing a clearer understanding of why writing down the recipe is hard.
Okay, so you've asked for the recipe and i'm going to give it to you in exchange for you telling me how you manage to keep your house clean all week with kids and work, or how you keep your feet so soft, or how you get all of the things done in a day and still have the energy to go out that night. The simple answer is; it's a process.
We all have processes we have fine tuned over the years. The reason we are successful with these is we have found what works for us and what doesn't. Clearly if it didn't work for us, we'd stop doing it. Except laundry! Laundry doesn't work for me, but i can't seem to stop trying. After all  I like clean clothes. So, in order for you to better understand the process i use to create dinners like this, there are a few things you need to have laying about in your kitchen. The bad news is it'll add a few bucks to your grocery budget, but the good news is you'll have it on hand when you want something like this again.
I tend to keep the following, among other things, for just this purpose: sesame seeds, sesame oil (dark), garlic & chili paste, soy sauce, and a piece of fresh ginger in the freezer (in an airtight container or it'll end up smelling like feet. YUK!!!). Oh yeah, and rice of course. I use the cheap rice, or Basmati or Jasmine if i get it from the Asian market. It's much cheaper there than at the grocery store and i usually get a BAG of rice. I keep it in an airtight container and it'll last forever if you are careful. I know some of you prefer using boxed rice because it's easier and that's fine, but for those of you a bit more adventuresome, I'll include a Rice Recipe right now.
HOW TO MAKE RICE THAT DOESN'T COME IN A BOX: Measure out two measures of water and one measure of rice. Bring the water to a good boil and dump in the rice and stir to cook the starch on the outside of the rice. Keep the heat on and cook uncovered, stirring occasionally for five minutes. At the end of five minutes, remove from heat and put a lid on it. The rice will be ready in twenty minutes. That's it. Rice the hard way.
I know, you are asking what "measure"????? Trust me when i say it doesn't matter. The only thing you need to keep in mind is the amount you want. The finished product will be, more or less, the volume of three measures. So you could use a measuring cup, a coffee cup, a tea glass, whatever, as long as it's about 1/3 of the amount you want to make.
NOW FOR THE DISH:
You'll need a meat and some veggies. Pretty much the same as if you were doing a normal meal. I'll leave that math up to you.
This is what i used. 4 chicken breasts, a can of water chestnuts, some sugar peas in the hull, regular onion and green onion, mushrooms, and bamboo shoots. Now i made this in my little wok one plate at a time, but you could do it as a skillet meal no sweat.
Set up your cutting board and cut your chicken into bite sized pieces. Clean the board and knife and do the same for the veggies you intend on using. Put everything into it's own bowl for making one plate at a time or the chicken in one bowl and the veggies in another if you are doing it as a skillet. When everything is ready, reach in your silverware drawer and grab a tablespoon. Toss a table spoon of corn starch in enough water to  make a liquid resembling milk. I have a funny story of just how much it does resemble milk, but i'll spare you, for now. Lastly, you'll need a glass of water just in case.
Make sure you have everything ready and available and this will be really easy.
Put a little Vegetable oil in your skillet and brown up that chicken. When the chicken is about done, throw in a tablespoon (remember the kitchen drawer, this is not a measurement) of the garlic & chili paste. Don't go crazy if you are squeamish about the heat. Get that stirred in so everything is coated nicely and dump your veggies on top and start to stir them top to bottom. (Side Note: if you have carrots or green beans put them in right after the chili paste and before the rest of the veggies as they need a little more time to cook). As everything starts smelling good, take your bottle of soy sauce and sprinkle it over the top of the whole mess. If i had to guess, i'd say a good tablespoon or two or three depending on how saucy you want it. It's going to steam up on you some and so you stir-stir-stir. The sizzle will die down. As the heat returns, you'll start smelling your veggies. When it all starts smelling really good, give your corn starch liquid a quick stir and add a tablespoon or two of that and stir like mad. If it seems like your sauce is too thick or has turned to plastic, add a couple tablespoons of water and stir like made. If it's too thin, add more of the mixture and stir. It's easy to tell when corn starch has cooked, it goes from being opaque to translucent.
At this point you are basically done. Take a plate and put rice on it, put your stir fry on top of that and garnish with green onions or sesame seeds or not. It's all up to you.
If it doesn't turn out the way you like the first time, don't beat yourself up. I'm sure you have a signature dish people love and they love it because you have spent years perfecting the, that's right, process. Every time you make this it will be slightly different and always better than the last.
Okay, so how does this really work?? Pick a protein and a couple of vegetables and a flavoring you'd like to have. You can use shrimp, beef, pork (keep beef and pork thin to cook quickly), chicken, fake crab, tofu (if you are into that whole Xeno-Estrogen thing). Next Pick your veggies, the sky is the limit here and pick your flavoring. garlic, chili, ginger, orange, peanut butter, bean paste, fish sauce, too many to list.
What you'll end up with is a mind staggering number of possibilities from one simple little dish. Another one of the benefits of this is it cooks quickly and the clean up is wholly reasonable. I don't know about you, but there are some nights i don't even want to think about it, but it has to be done. On most other days, i'm still pretty good with In, Done, and Out.
Remember, pick a meat, pick veggies, and pick a flavor. It's just that simple.

Till we talk again, Peace be with You. D