Kitchen Towels on the Cheap

Hello All!!! Let me start off by saying how pleased i am you stopped by to give me a read. I assure you, it really makes me happy and for that: I Thank You.
Now let me just ramble on a minute here and see if i can clear the cobwebs a bit. It occurred to me the other day my kitchen towels looked like hell or "Aych-ee-double hockey sticks if you prefer. In fact they were so bad that had i been so inclined to sew them all together, i'd have made a reasonably functional sieve for tennis balls. Though i will admit, there isn't much of a demand for such an item; So, i threw them out. Well, i did keep the best of the lot for working on the car or grill or what have you and threw the worst of those away as well. Before i get on to these towels, let me set this up a bit. This is something of a philosophical thing and you might glean something of value in a different aspect of your life if you knew the rationale behind this.
I want to talk about purpose and re-purpose for a minute. I'd be willing to bet you have at least one thing in your home that started its life as one thing and has now been given a second career or even a third. Those things that have taken on a second life, doing something other than what they were made to do originally is a re-purposed item. Don't get me wrong here. I'm not talking about reusing butter tubs for leftovers, but that is a re-purposed item. Surely, i'm not the only one who's done that. In fact, i can think of a few things right now that have been re-purposed around this house that i can't imagine what i used before. For Instance: I water my lovely babies (house plants) with a U.S. Marine Corps sports bottle that the guys quit using because it didn't seal when closed, I keep my 25lb bag of flour in an old fashioned sealed lid diaper pail that never was used, My eggs are in a small basket i got with a bath set years ago (dreadful stuff, but a great basket), and my liquid dish soap is in the empty bottle of Hummingbird Farms Lavender Lotion from the first time we got some. You see, re-purposing stuff isn't so horrible you just have to have the right item for the right job. Which brings me to the kitchen towels.
After i threw all the old towels out, i needed new ones. I knew had i not thrown them away, it may have been months before i got new ones. I don't know if you have checked the price of them lately, but to me it seems like a terrible waste of money for something that's inevitably going to get dirty, stained, and tossed. I was going to mention something about paper towels and their cost here too, but you may find you no longer have a need for paper towels at all after this.
Here is what i do. Instead of going to a department store, or Target, or the devilstore and pay a couple bucks or more each for towels to clean up, wipe down, and dry my hands on, I go to the auto parts store. Yes, you heard me correctly on that; the auto parts store. nearly all of them sell white cotton terry cloth towels for working on your car. I'm talking cotton, white, terry cloth, not some synthetic, microfiber, or the red mechanic rags (that would just be too disturbing). They are usually sold in bundles, for instance i got 24 towels for 14 bucks. What is that?? 60 or so cents each?? Now that's a price i can live with and not care how long they last. The terry cloth will seem a bit thin and open woven, or cheap, but that's because they are cheap. Here's the thing though, when you get them home and start using them, after about four washes they really plump up and work very well. I know you are probably reading this and saying "So What". Well, the "So What" is that they are cotton. You can bleach the hell out of them and toss them in the dryer. For instance, today i was baking a Cinderella Pumpkin and the cake pan i had it in overflowed with liquid from the squash. The bottom of my oven was a swamp and i had to soak it up quickly and let's face it, paper towels would have fallen short of the optimum result. I tossed them in the washer with some soap and bleach and they were as good as new. I do keep a few of them nice and white just in case we have company. I'll admit that one, but the cutsie hand towels on the refrigerator and oven are as clean as day one. One last thought, i haven't bought a roll of paper towels since i started doing this 7 or 8 years ago. I bet if you added it up, the savings from that would be worth a look.
Next time, i'll show you why not all pumpkins are created equal.

Until then, May Peace be with You, D

Trouble with Married Single Parents

There's been a great length of time in my life where i've been the defacto complaint department for a diverse group of people. They include family, friends, and even the occasional stranger while i'm standing in line at the store. for years, I've found this to be an honorable position. Naturally, i must have something of value to offer if they habitually come to me for advice. Lately though, the varnish has begun to lose its luster. I mean, really, how can i offer anyone advice on anything while i'm screaming at the clouds, "Why do I feel like the butler in my own damn house"?? I swear there are days that were i the family dog, my family would be reported for cruelty to an animal. Don't mind me, i'm probably pre-menstrual. I don't expect life to be ideal or anything like that, but with seventeen years in I never thought i'd feel like this either. 

You know every now and again, when you need it the most, life drops a sugar cube in your hand and says, "This ought to sweeten it up a bit." This time the "Sugar Cube" took the form of a paper i copied while i was at the University of North Texas. I'll get to it here in a minute, but first i want to preface it a tad. 

I am going to transcribe the paper below here in a few lines. I didn't author it and i am unable to be certain of just who the author was. I wish i could as they definitely deserve the writing credit on this one. Also, I realize i'm throwing a number of my friends under the proverbial bus and naturally i will still be here to do what i've always done. This post is intended to help all of us in our day to day. God knows I sure could stand to remember the first and penultimate ones of the second half; Every damn day.

So here it is:

THINGS YOU CAN'T CONTROL

• The age or stage of development your children are in
• The way you were raised
• Whether the stoplight turns red or green
• How fast other cars are driving
• The number of hours in a day
• Other people
• Your age
• When work or a project takes much longer than expected
• The Calendar
• Being laid off from a job
• Messes made right after you have cleaned the house

THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL

• Your reaction to others
• Your to-do list and the number of items on it
• How your day is spent
• Your goals
• Your self esteem and self worth
• How you treat others
• Your exercise and eating habits
• The communication of your needs to others
• Telling people when you're stressed, need time alone, or help with projects
• Whether or how much you smoke or drink alcohol
• How old you act
• The way you raise your children

There you have it. I don't remember what was happening the day i discovered this, but it spoke to me and i hope it speaks to you as well. Whether you are a married single parent or just your average everyday exceptional (anyone who reads me has to be of an exceptional nature) human being, i feel strongly there is something you can take away from this.

I promise, my next post in a day or so will be about kitchen towels on the cheap.

Till then, Peace be with you, D

Cool Smokers Don't Have To Be Expensive

So here it is about 2:30 in the morning and i'm listening to my subversive Dixie Chicks Greatest Hits, "Long Time Gone". It's funny, once long ago i had drinks with them after hours at the Suttler's in Fort Davis. I miss them, but that's a whole nother [sic] blog and given the overly charged political season, i think it can stay for some far off day. Perhaps so long a Cowboy could Take Me Away. Sorry i couldn't help it.

It's a bit of a meander to get to this smoker, so with your indulgence, i'll attempt to make it as painless as possible. Back in 2001 when the shit hit the fan on September 11th, I had a nice little house with a pond and a grotto for my Virgin Mary statue, and something of an outdoor kitchen. I hadn't put the sink in yet, but that was about all that was missing. It wasn't very long before i realized my job prospects had all but dried up and the housing market was doing something funny. So, in a panic, sold the house, got an apartment, and went back to school to hedge against a poor economy i figured would rebound in a year or two. As it turns out, selling the house was the best idea, though it sits less than five minutes from The Ballpark in Arlington and Cowboys Stadium. Despite those things, it has lost nearly 40% of its value from when i lived there. I classify that as dodging a bullet. As for the economy rebounding, well i was overly optimistic to say the least. Okay, off to the University of North Texas and apartment living. I had to drag my smoker with me. I just couldn't leave it or the stove behind. To shorten this up a bit, with them sitting out in the elements like they did, rust destroyed them. So, for a number of years i have gone without a smoker because they were either cost prohibitive or just took up too much room.

Here a couple of months ago i got this idea for a smoker i could take apart when not in use and store under one side of my gas grill. When i told everyone about it, the general response was, " you want to make a smoker out of a trash can?" Well, the long and the short of it was, "Yes, yes i do."  

Despite the lack of enthusiasm, we visionaries just have to deal with that some times. I built it. I'm happy to report the smoker cost just less than 60 dollars and i got all the parts from Home Depot in one trip. I had that cheapo charcoal grill laying around, so it didn't add to the cost. We use it when we go to the park or the lake every now and again. I was hoping the smoker would be dual purpose, first be controllable in the 200-250 degree range for smoking and second be controllable in the 325-400 range to bake bread in. Here is what i discovered. It takes a good fire to get the smoke chamber up to 150-175 degrees. I'm fairly certain this is due to the aluminum dryer hose connecting the fire box to the can. I plan on changing it to a steel duct and that should raise my heat 50-100 degrees. Aluminum spills heat very well. That is one of the reasons it is used in cookware. Ideally, i'd like to get 225 out of it and then i wouldn't have to finish cooking the food in the oven, like i did this turkey.

I smoked the bird for +/- 5 hours and then baked it until the internal temp reached 200. I have to say that a fair amount of the broth they inject these things with did shrink away, but it wasn't dry in the least and i'm not a white meat eater. I got good smoke penetration. In fact, the smoke penetration was better than expected. I made this so that i could either suspend food with the can sitting upright or on a rack with the can laying on its side. This time i chose on its side. Inside, i placed the bird smeared with Kosher salt, Brown Sugar, and a bit of Chili Powder on my big Wilton rack with a pan underneath to catch the drippings. This is important! The last thing you need is to add to the fly population here. Here is a pic of the sliced breast. I took all of these pics with my cell phone, so they could be better, but it is what it is.

If you look, perhaps you can see a nice rosey ring around the perimeter of the breast. When i ate this last week, one of my friends asked if it was any good. What i say now is what i said then, " It's either really good or i was just in the mood for Turkey."  I'm really happy with my smoker and i'll be thrilled when i get the bugs worked out of it so i can make some of the breads i used to make that require a dry wood fueled oven. One more thing, as an added bonus to all this smoked meat madness, Which only took five or six sticks of mesquite by the way, I made a foil pan and filled it with Kosher salt. Periodically, i would stir the salt. Now, i have Mesquite smoked salt whenever i have a taste to add a little something smokey to whatever it is that i'm eating.

Next time i'll tell you about my cheap-ass kitchen towels. I mean cheap too. So cheap, you may just give up on paper towels like i did so many years ago. 

Until the next time i write, Peace be with you, Dave

Would Squash by any other name be more Appealing

Kids are funny little creatures. Lately, it has come to my attention my children are fairly well versed in food, as they should be, but lack the knowledge of a few things i'd consider necessary experiences in a lifetime. Take for instance their favorite vegetable, Brussels Sprouts. I don't care what planet you are from, your average child is never going to ask for these with dinner though mine regularly do. Along the same vein though, beets are met with such repulsion their mere mention elicits a physical response. Well, my guys are 16 and 17 and as people of this age are want to do, repeatedly make me want to give them shaken adolescent syndrome. Earlier this week, both of them gifted me with emails from their teachers about classroom performance. Perhaps i'm expecting too much as a parent, but at their ages i believe they should be able to handle their business in school and a teacher contacting me for some day to day things would be a last resort. So, i asked them about what is going on in school and once again i get the canned answer of either "nothing" or " oh i've already taken care of that". I explained to the guys that if this were indeed true why would their teacher be emailing me? They both told me i worry too much. What?? Like that's not my job or something?? In the past i have warned them with beets and spam for dinner every night they aren't making their teachers happy. As i stated earlier, the mention of beets brings about a physical response to a pair of Brussels Sprouts eaters. Okay, back to hearing from teachers for both of them this week. Again, i got that i worry too much, so i decided to have a little fun with them. I added squash to the menu over the next two weeks and told my guys they'd love it. I got the "i swear he just threatened us with beets" face and i told them they worry too much. Okay, here's the funny part. Both of these clowns love sweet potatos. So what two squashes did i add to the menu?? Acorn and Butternut! While they look forward to sweet potatos, they seem to be absolutely horrified at the prospect of the squash. I guess i'm about the only one who will enjoy the joke in this house prior to actually eating them. In case you have never had Acorn or Butternut Squash, They are both sweet and cook up soft, smooth, and for lack of a better example mimic the flavors of sweet potato and pumpkin. However, in the meantime i will enjoy them getting all worked up over the impending doom of the meals. It's like Thomas Jefferson said, don't let the evil which has never happened cause you pain.
Until i write you again, Peace be with you, D

Go Ahead, Maki My Day!!!

One of the problems associated with my willful exile here in Amarillo is the lack of quality in dining out. It isn't as though there's not a good variety of genres to patronize, rather there seems to be a general lack of concern for the product being served. It comes across as though the people here don't expect anything more than "fair to middlin'" so why should a restaurateur strive to serve a quality product for the generous remuneration expected. I know i'm showing a picture of a Maki Roll, but this is my general impression of most of the restaurants in town. Don't even get me started on steak. For a town billed as the "Beef Capital of America", there sure seems to be one hell of a lot they could learn from the Pappas Brothers in Dallas.
What's that idiom, "When in Rome, do as the Romans"??? I'm here to tell you that is flawed logic when it comes to tolerating some of the Honorable Mentions left over from the Jr High Science Fair that pass for restaurant fare. I mean, one would think a national chain would be the same no matter what town it's located in. I'm here to tell you that other than the peanuts on the floor, there is no similarity and when i Pei for chinese, i want rice noodles not tapioca. Though there are a couple of bright spots, but as you might expect they aren't national chains either. These are places that seem to care about what they turn out. If you want a Burger in Amarillo, there is only one place to go; Cowboy Gelato. A "Spaghetti Western" inspired burger joint that is like Sergio Leone himself, visionary in scope. I highly recommend the "Tucco"...just sayin. For good Mexican food i like, El Bracero. Other than that, save your money for when you get to where you're going and settle for something from the corner Valero station in the meantime.

Okay, so what does all this have to do with Maki Rolls?? Good question. I'm not entirely sure. I have tried them at most all of the Asian inspired restaurants here and honestly i wouldn't pay a dime a piece for any of theirs. So, what does this do for a guy with a craving for it?? Shut up or Make it Yourself!!! So, i made my own. Naturally!!! I mean what does it take?? You get some sticky rice, fake crab, avocado, cream cheese, a tube of wasabi, maybe a couple of shirmp, a cucumber, sesame seeds... actually you can end up getting quite a bit of stuff. A little bit, goes a very long way. Luckily, the local health food store had the toasted nori wrappers and wasabi. Though it isn't real wasabi, neither is most of the green horseradish out there, but it'll do.
I'll be the first one to admit that i do a hell of a lot of complaining. It just irritates me when a person would go through all of the time and effort to make something and then skimp on the little stuff to make it great. In the end i guess that's what i get for having expectations, though i promise you; in Dallas, these people wouldn't survive. I guess the inverse is true also. If i didn't have the skills to make it myself, i wouldn't survive here. I guess the thesis here is this; if there is something you want and you can't find it where you are, either try to find it somewhere else or learn how to produce it yourself.
Many thanks to my Grandmother, my Mom, and my Grandfather for making me stir pots, make cornbread, and check the vents on the grill.

Until next time, Peace be with you, Dave

Cucumber Salad w/ Mustard Pickle Mayo

I know this may sound rather peculiar in light of what i'm writing about, but i just don't like Yeller Mustard.  Yes, the King of Condiments. In fact, it wouldn't even be on the shopping list if i weren't married and since it isn't, by itself, grounds for divorce, here i am. I'm a Mayo Guy (not Miracle Whip) and other than the occasional batch of potato salad, my world would be devoid of it. However, there is a caveat to all this.
When i was a kid, my Mother and Grand Mother would "put up" jars of stuff from the garden. Pickled Peppers and Okra, Green Beans and Squash (YUK, i never got used to eating that stuff, other than raw in a salad and at that, sparingly), and of course; Pickles. Dill Pickles and Garlic Pickles, Sweet Pickles and Bread and Butter Pickles, and my two favorites, Hot Pickles and Mustard Pickles.
One of the foods we ate, regularly, this time of year was cucumber salad. Cucumbers, Tomatos, and Onions.  Always served in a soup of oil and vinegar, with a generous helping of salt and pepper. This i loved. I loved it then and do to this day. Well, i made cucumber salad today. Though, i've been missing my Mother's Mustard Pickles and thought why not combine the two. Quite often, combining two things you like is not a good idea, but this one turned out curiously good. This has a few different things going on, so if you find it a little hard to follow along, place the blame squarely on me. Okay, so let's get to the recipe, and then i'll finish the story.

Cucumber Salad w/ Mustard Pickle Mayo
(you can scale this at will and you'll have to play with the levels to accommodate your tastes as everything i make is like me UNSUBTLE!!!)
Make the dressing for the salad first and then come back and cut everything up.
I used:
3 Cucumbers
3 Tomatos
2 Medium Onions
Put a pot of water on to boil. When it comes to a boil, put the tomatos in the water for a few minutes, roughly 3-5. Take them out and chill them in a bowl of ice water. You are going to peel the tomatos. While the tomatos are chillin out, peel and slice your cucumbers and put in a large bowl. Then peel and slice your onion in section slivers and throw them in with the cucumber. Next go and peel your tomatos. The skins should be cracked and slide right off. Once peeled, slice them up the same as the onion and throw in on top. Here is the base for your salad.

The Mustard Pickle Mayo
There are two ways of doing this part. There is the easy way and the less than easy way. I'll tell you how to do this the easy way and if you are skilled enough to do it the less than easy way, make an emulsion with White vinegar, lemon juice, an egg yolk and a cup of oil like regular mayo, then just add the seasonings to the end of the emulsion and mix for a minute and let stand.
The easy way.
Combine:
1 Cup of Mayo, not Miracle Whip
2 T Dill Weed
1 tsp or a bit more Ground Mustard (Dry)
1-2 tsp Turmeric
1 T Granulated Garlic
Mix together very well and let it sit in the fridge for a few hours. It will need some salt to bring out the dill and  yeller mustard flavors. put 2/3rds of the mixture on your salad and mix together. If you don't want your fingernails turning a sad yellow color, you might want to do this with a spoon or other implement. Every piece should get a nice little coating of the dressing. If it isn't coated enough, add a little more until you have it all coated and eat it before someone else does. If you've done it right, you ought to taste everything. For many of you, it's going to be, at the minimum, a shock to the system and at most Horrible. Remember, you control the end flavor so you may have to play with it a bit. If you are a Mustard fan, you'll love it.

Okay, so i made it and they ate it. It was surprising how there was a little background heat from the mustard, the mustardlike flavor of the turmeric goes well with the onion and well let's face it, garlic and dill go with just about anything in a salad bowl.
I had a little dressing left over and wondered how it would go with a hotdog. Actually, it was amazingly good. Not too mustardy for me. The real surprise came when i ate one of the french fries bordering my salad. Okay, so mustard, dill, mayo taste thrown on top of fried potato. What do you think that would taste like?? It tasted strangely like my Grandmother's potato salad. I know, it sounds strange, but it just hit the spot for me today. I guess what they say about the tastes from your childhood being among the most powerful of all memories, is still true. I miss that vinegar and oil soup from the salad bowl. I miss working in the garden. I miss my mother's mustard pickles. And naturally, i miss my Grandmother.

Until i put pen to paper again, Peace be with You, Dave

The Winner of Our Discontent

I had a friend ring me up today and ask if i really hadn't posted anything since May. Oh No, Surely not. Not me. Then again, maybe i hadn't. So, i did what any purveyor of the prose would do and i checked. Sure as hell. I had not posted a single word since May. What a cold calculated crime i have committed. (Roger, such alliteration!) It got me to thinking. Why haven't i posted anything for so long. The easy answer was, "beats me".
Later in the evening i was talking to my son and the damnedest thing fell out of his mouth. He said, "Dad, nobody likes your politics". Leave it to a kid to point out the obvious. I realized that my politics and facebook have really been eating me up. That's not true, i have been allowing dissenting opinions on facebook to eat me up. I don't know. Perhaps i am crazy and i should keep my big mouth shut, but it drives me bugnuts to know that someone who draws food stamps and collects SSI and has four children under ten votes Republican and calls me an idiot because i don't see ObamaCare as a bad thing or a wall between the U.S. and Mexico as a good thing. FYI, this person also told me that Hadrian's Wall, The Great Wall of China, and the Berlin Wall all failed because they weren't American. That's when the propeller on my beanie flew off.  There is one other part to this, i know three people that have reported to have received a health insurance rebate check due to the changes under ObamaCare and two of those people are still complaining about the new law. Yes, as far as i know they did cash those checks. Doesn't it seem counter intuitive?? Well, maybe not. After all, i'm crazy.
Another of my favorites is that Obama is a Fascist and a Socialist. Wow, really?? I'm pretty sure Dr. King (Not Martin Luther King Jr, she looked more like Lilith Crane from the show Cheers) didn't put those two together in my freshman Political Science class. Again, just one of those things that makes my head buzz. Then there is Sherriff Joe Arpaio and his Posse. Oh Brother, the only thing this man likes better than the sound of his own voice is the sound of his voice on TV. Now, here again that may just be my crazy brain talking, but i have met the man and worked in law enforcement in Arizona. Loved the pink stripes and the chain gangs, but the spoiled bologna sandwiches and his investigation i can live without.
Then there is the one about Obama taking away gun ownership. Oh please, with the amount of gun lobby money that is pumped into that hamlet known as DC every single day, there is no way guns will be outlawed. Though for the record, i am in favor of a ban on assault weapons. Something even Romney signed into law in his own state. Here again, why aren't my die hard Republican friends seeing Romney's actions as a gateway to a total abridging of their freedoms?? Head still buzzing!!!
A couple of days ago, i posted a post from a friend about Elizabeth Warren talking about the Social Contract Americans have and two people publicly called me on it. That i don't mind. They had their say and i had mine. It's a public discourse. One of those things this country was founded on. What i did mind was the twelve (12) instant messages i got telling me i was anti-American and stupid and basically i needed to kill myself cause i'm too ignorant to breathe. Well poo poo on them. I would still like to see a presidential ticket with Elizabeth Warren and Caroline Kennedy on it. Both are strong intelligent women that don't make excuses or pander to the good ol' boys by way of some caricature of the naughty librarian.
Lastly, for now, there is this whole Chick-Fil-A flap going on. Who gives a rats ass if they don't like Gays and Lesbians. That is their right. Do i agree with it, hell no, but here again it's part of what makes our country unique. The head buzzer in this is i know two people who have gay friends and purport to support their right to live openly and freely with all the rights and privileges as everyone else, but have signed up for the support Chick-Fil-A day on August first. You know, in all honesty if Chick-Fil-A had put that they stopped putting muppet toys in their kids meals because the money was going to the Gay and Lesbian Association Against Defamation i'd have been cool with them. However, when this good Christian company said the toys had been recalled because they may potentially harm a child it seemed too much like lying. Wait, aren't Christians supposed to not lie as in the Ten Commandments?? Yep, head still buzzing.
At this point, i still don't know who i'll vote for and i'm not selling either of these men to anyone. If i have any agenda at all it's to make people think, to read, and to get out there and vote the way they want. A democracy with as pitiful a voter turnout as we have is no democracy at all.

I'll make no apology for this post and as always, may peace be with you. D