Cucumber Salad w/ Mustard Pickle Mayo

I know this may sound rather peculiar in light of what i'm writing about, but i just don't like Yeller Mustard.  Yes, the King of Condiments. In fact, it wouldn't even be on the shopping list if i weren't married and since it isn't, by itself, grounds for divorce, here i am. I'm a Mayo Guy (not Miracle Whip) and other than the occasional batch of potato salad, my world would be devoid of it. However, there is a caveat to all this.
When i was a kid, my Mother and Grand Mother would "put up" jars of stuff from the garden. Pickled Peppers and Okra, Green Beans and Squash (YUK, i never got used to eating that stuff, other than raw in a salad and at that, sparingly), and of course; Pickles. Dill Pickles and Garlic Pickles, Sweet Pickles and Bread and Butter Pickles, and my two favorites, Hot Pickles and Mustard Pickles.
One of the foods we ate, regularly, this time of year was cucumber salad. Cucumbers, Tomatos, and Onions.  Always served in a soup of oil and vinegar, with a generous helping of salt and pepper. This i loved. I loved it then and do to this day. Well, i made cucumber salad today. Though, i've been missing my Mother's Mustard Pickles and thought why not combine the two. Quite often, combining two things you like is not a good idea, but this one turned out curiously good. This has a few different things going on, so if you find it a little hard to follow along, place the blame squarely on me. Okay, so let's get to the recipe, and then i'll finish the story.

Cucumber Salad w/ Mustard Pickle Mayo
(you can scale this at will and you'll have to play with the levels to accommodate your tastes as everything i make is like me UNSUBTLE!!!)
Make the dressing for the salad first and then come back and cut everything up.
I used:
3 Cucumbers
3 Tomatos
2 Medium Onions
Put a pot of water on to boil. When it comes to a boil, put the tomatos in the water for a few minutes, roughly 3-5. Take them out and chill them in a bowl of ice water. You are going to peel the tomatos. While the tomatos are chillin out, peel and slice your cucumbers and put in a large bowl. Then peel and slice your onion in section slivers and throw them in with the cucumber. Next go and peel your tomatos. The skins should be cracked and slide right off. Once peeled, slice them up the same as the onion and throw in on top. Here is the base for your salad.

The Mustard Pickle Mayo
There are two ways of doing this part. There is the easy way and the less than easy way. I'll tell you how to do this the easy way and if you are skilled enough to do it the less than easy way, make an emulsion with White vinegar, lemon juice, an egg yolk and a cup of oil like regular mayo, then just add the seasonings to the end of the emulsion and mix for a minute and let stand.
The easy way.
Combine:
1 Cup of Mayo, not Miracle Whip
2 T Dill Weed
1 tsp or a bit more Ground Mustard (Dry)
1-2 tsp Turmeric
1 T Granulated Garlic
Mix together very well and let it sit in the fridge for a few hours. It will need some salt to bring out the dill and  yeller mustard flavors. put 2/3rds of the mixture on your salad and mix together. If you don't want your fingernails turning a sad yellow color, you might want to do this with a spoon or other implement. Every piece should get a nice little coating of the dressing. If it isn't coated enough, add a little more until you have it all coated and eat it before someone else does. If you've done it right, you ought to taste everything. For many of you, it's going to be, at the minimum, a shock to the system and at most Horrible. Remember, you control the end flavor so you may have to play with it a bit. If you are a Mustard fan, you'll love it.

Okay, so i made it and they ate it. It was surprising how there was a little background heat from the mustard, the mustardlike flavor of the turmeric goes well with the onion and well let's face it, garlic and dill go with just about anything in a salad bowl.
I had a little dressing left over and wondered how it would go with a hotdog. Actually, it was amazingly good. Not too mustardy for me. The real surprise came when i ate one of the french fries bordering my salad. Okay, so mustard, dill, mayo taste thrown on top of fried potato. What do you think that would taste like?? It tasted strangely like my Grandmother's potato salad. I know, it sounds strange, but it just hit the spot for me today. I guess what they say about the tastes from your childhood being among the most powerful of all memories, is still true. I miss that vinegar and oil soup from the salad bowl. I miss working in the garden. I miss my mother's mustard pickles. And naturally, i miss my Grandmother.

Until i put pen to paper again, Peace be with You, Dave

The Winner of Our Discontent

I had a friend ring me up today and ask if i really hadn't posted anything since May. Oh No, Surely not. Not me. Then again, maybe i hadn't. So, i did what any purveyor of the prose would do and i checked. Sure as hell. I had not posted a single word since May. What a cold calculated crime i have committed. (Roger, such alliteration!) It got me to thinking. Why haven't i posted anything for so long. The easy answer was, "beats me".
Later in the evening i was talking to my son and the damnedest thing fell out of his mouth. He said, "Dad, nobody likes your politics". Leave it to a kid to point out the obvious. I realized that my politics and facebook have really been eating me up. That's not true, i have been allowing dissenting opinions on facebook to eat me up. I don't know. Perhaps i am crazy and i should keep my big mouth shut, but it drives me bugnuts to know that someone who draws food stamps and collects SSI and has four children under ten votes Republican and calls me an idiot because i don't see ObamaCare as a bad thing or a wall between the U.S. and Mexico as a good thing. FYI, this person also told me that Hadrian's Wall, The Great Wall of China, and the Berlin Wall all failed because they weren't American. That's when the propeller on my beanie flew off.  There is one other part to this, i know three people that have reported to have received a health insurance rebate check due to the changes under ObamaCare and two of those people are still complaining about the new law. Yes, as far as i know they did cash those checks. Doesn't it seem counter intuitive?? Well, maybe not. After all, i'm crazy.
Another of my favorites is that Obama is a Fascist and a Socialist. Wow, really?? I'm pretty sure Dr. King (Not Martin Luther King Jr, she looked more like Lilith Crane from the show Cheers) didn't put those two together in my freshman Political Science class. Again, just one of those things that makes my head buzz. Then there is Sherriff Joe Arpaio and his Posse. Oh Brother, the only thing this man likes better than the sound of his own voice is the sound of his voice on TV. Now, here again that may just be my crazy brain talking, but i have met the man and worked in law enforcement in Arizona. Loved the pink stripes and the chain gangs, but the spoiled bologna sandwiches and his investigation i can live without.
Then there is the one about Obama taking away gun ownership. Oh please, with the amount of gun lobby money that is pumped into that hamlet known as DC every single day, there is no way guns will be outlawed. Though for the record, i am in favor of a ban on assault weapons. Something even Romney signed into law in his own state. Here again, why aren't my die hard Republican friends seeing Romney's actions as a gateway to a total abridging of their freedoms?? Head still buzzing!!!
A couple of days ago, i posted a post from a friend about Elizabeth Warren talking about the Social Contract Americans have and two people publicly called me on it. That i don't mind. They had their say and i had mine. It's a public discourse. One of those things this country was founded on. What i did mind was the twelve (12) instant messages i got telling me i was anti-American and stupid and basically i needed to kill myself cause i'm too ignorant to breathe. Well poo poo on them. I would still like to see a presidential ticket with Elizabeth Warren and Caroline Kennedy on it. Both are strong intelligent women that don't make excuses or pander to the good ol' boys by way of some caricature of the naughty librarian.
Lastly, for now, there is this whole Chick-Fil-A flap going on. Who gives a rats ass if they don't like Gays and Lesbians. That is their right. Do i agree with it, hell no, but here again it's part of what makes our country unique. The head buzzer in this is i know two people who have gay friends and purport to support their right to live openly and freely with all the rights and privileges as everyone else, but have signed up for the support Chick-Fil-A day on August first. You know, in all honesty if Chick-Fil-A had put that they stopped putting muppet toys in their kids meals because the money was going to the Gay and Lesbian Association Against Defamation i'd have been cool with them. However, when this good Christian company said the toys had been recalled because they may potentially harm a child it seemed too much like lying. Wait, aren't Christians supposed to not lie as in the Ten Commandments?? Yep, head still buzzing.
At this point, i still don't know who i'll vote for and i'm not selling either of these men to anyone. If i have any agenda at all it's to make people think, to read, and to get out there and vote the way they want. A democracy with as pitiful a voter turnout as we have is no democracy at all.

I'll make no apology for this post and as always, may peace be with you. D

An update on the Sister's Quilt (Bra Quilt)

I forgot to mention earlier that i am still collecting bras for the Sister's Quilt. I have over a hundred at this point. I'm not exactly sure how many it will take as, well to be honest, they do come in a whole bunch of different sizes and styles. Then there is the design. I have a few roughs of what i'm working on and i'll post them the next time i write on this topic. It is very much still in the works. It's a project that i'm passionate about. It's a project that i believe in. Lastly, it's a project i hope will bring about some good for someone other than me and the personal satisfaction i'll get from building them.
At this point, i am very thankful the majority of the donations have been laundered. Though some of them were washed in some pretty flowery soap and so i rewashed them to keep my eyes and nose from falling off of my face.
Again, i want to thank you all for your words of encouragement and for donating your undies to my project. my target number is 500 and i know i'll get them
Until next time, Peace be with you. Dave

Almond Milk and the Pudding Dilemma

Okay, so it's starting to warm up outside and my thoughts magically turned toward "Nanner Puddin" this last weekend. I'm neither bashful nor afraid to say that i make the finest Banana Pudding in Texas!!! The only problem is that dang'd old milk sugar; Lactose. It does ugly things to my body as it does many others. So, the question is, how do i make pudding with Almond Milk or some other milk substitute and have it thicken up. There is an answer. It's not a pretty one, but there is an answer.

In case you didn't already know, instant pudding mixes thicken by way of the casein in real milk. None of the milk substitutes, that i know of, have the casein to make the instant mix pudding thicken. (I said milk substitute, and Lactaid Milk is not a milk substitute. Given that Lactose Intolerance is varied by individual, i'm strictly speaking about alternatives to milk in this posting.)

Okay, so last weekend i made a recipe called, "Tiramisu Bowl" Click here for the recipe. I made it as written except i used almond milk with cook and serve pudding. I cooled the pudding in a large cake pan on a rack and this worked out great!!!(just kinda FYI) I made the pudding as written and it was alright. The desert wasn't bad. My kids enjoyed it more than i did. The pudding element was lacking something. It was a textural thing. The pudding just wasn't as smooth and creamy as i'd have liked it to be.

I got to thinking the texture of the pudding had to have something to do with the protein.Those magical little strings that give body to so many of our foods and drinks. So i looked at the Moo milk jug and it's 8 grams of protein per cup of milk, where as the almond milk is only 1 gram of protein per cup. Instantly, i went old school. The answer as to how to increase the protein in the milk had to be the egg. The average egg yolk only has about three grams of protein in it, but.... and it's a big butt; it was just what the doctor ordered. I added one egg yolk per box or that would be two egg yolks for the big box and cooked it in a double boiler and it was rockin. Again, i used my large cake pan to cool the pudding quickly and i finally got to make my banana pudding. It was really good. It's not ready for braggin yet, but i'm workin on it. The pudding had a better consistency and lets face it, basically i made a custard. It worked out perfectly.

I haven't tried to make the pudding using the egg white yet. I will, but i imagine i'm going to have to turn the whites into meringue first and then stir them into the pudding slurry before cooking. By the by, the white contains a little more protein than the yolk so i have high hopes.

Never fear, i'll keep you posted on this one. For those of you that have asked, now we both know.

Until i'm inspired again, Peace be with you. D

47 with clouds in my coffee (decaf)

Well, I managed to live long enough to hit 47. Honestly, this is nothing short of a miracle. I once saw a movie where one actor asked the other if he would prefer the coroner see his body and remark about how perfectly it had been taken care of or if he'd rather live life without all of his worries he had about taking care of himself. The actor said he didn't know and referred the question back to the first actor who replied, "Shit, i want the coroner to take one look at me and say, this son of a bitch had one hell of a good time getting to here".

There was something about this logic that sang to my Viking soul like a crash from Thor's hammer!!! I think my exact words at that moment were, "Absolutely".

Toward that end, i was giving myself the once over in the mirror after my shower tonight and could barely recognize the man in the mirror. (No it's not the lack of hair, i've been good with that since before it was gone) I was simply acknowledging the aches and pains that seem to be chronic at this point and naturally the changes in my appearance. Being fat doesn't bother me too much as i still get around alright and it hasn't seemed to limit me. Though, i got this way within two years after i had heat stroke in '95. I knew going in, the medication would put weight on me, but not being medicated was not an option. I did notice i have developed Jowls. I could have done without that. My tattoos still look good and aren't all blurred out. I'm really glad i shopped tattooists before i got them. The artist makes the difference. I've always had heavy eyelids and bags under my eyes. Some day i'm sure i'll have to have the lids trimmed back so i can see, but that's a ways off. My hands and neck and their bone loss?? Well, the hands still work, but the neck is getting to be really bothersome. It sounds like a maraca when i shake my head. I guess my only real complaint i have is my eyes. I've always loved the color i was given (bloodshot), but i'm not a fan of this arms length seeing thing. sure i have two different pair of glasses, but i'm too much like the librarian i knew as a younger man. Hers were on a string around her neck and she'd put them on and take them off constantly. It annoyed me when she did it and now i'm doing it. I guess the important thing is, i can still see.

All in all i'd say i have a lot in common with an old chevy truck. I may look like hell, but i still run fine. Remember to live everyday as though it were your last and enjoy it.

Till i speak with you again, Peace be with you,

Dave

Perfect intro

The angry smell of sex, hairspray, and an acrid shot of perfume swirled about him like a swarm of bees. Even the half eaten bison burger, a test product some food hawker left her, added its voice to the ensemble and they were all saying the same thing. She'll never stay for good. Which wasn't all that bad, was it? Did he want her to stay? If only she weren't such a contemptible pain in the ass. It's like the whole Buster thing.

Why do you call me Buster, he'd say, instead of Coyote like everyone else? She'd answer back with something like, Look Buster, it's not my fault your parents were mental irregular. If you want to be called Coyote, that's your cross to bear. One thing though, i don't lie down with dogs. You got that? Unfortunately, every couple of weeks he didn't mind being Buster for a few hours. It was a wonderfully warm diversion from the everyday loneliness that accompanies a person that doesn't enjoy where they are, but has nowhere else to be. Then again, circumstance was closing in on him. The where he is and the where he should be were nothing more than two trails on the same path headed for an intersection. The problem was further complicated by the intersection being collocated with a cliff and three women, each of whom there to exact their pounds of flesh.

It wasn't good enough that one was a shotgun toting, tequila drinker, with no impulse control or that another was a county judge, with a lifetime of unresolved anger and yelled so much she kept the town virtually bird free. Clearly, that was too easy. So, why not include a nurse, with a predilection for pain, that showed signs of harboring a death wish.

Many times he'd thought, just how the hell did i get here. The short answer would be by bus, but the longer one, the real story of how Perfect became perfect is a much longer tale.

This time Wednesday: Alicia's Burrito!!!

For those of you who don't know, in my home town, there is a hole in the wall eatery called Alicia's Burrito. The place has a drive up window and seats about 25 if you're friendly. This place has the best food. I'm partial to the jalapeno cheese burgers and let me tell you; they cut their own fries with the peel on and fry them until they are brown. I mean brown! I could make a meal out of the fries alone, but why when the burgers are so good.

I was heading home to Alpine, because my mother was supposed to have back surgery. However, as is the case with people over a couple hundred years old, her blood sugar went kaflooey (it's an industry term) and her surgery has been put on hold. In the interim, i bought a car and a half.

As some of you know, i am a rabid fan of the aerodynamically challenged Isuzu Trooper. I have one that is a '91 and have been driving it for ten years and i LOVE her. Well, with two boys approaching driving test age i put out feelers and low and behold guess what was hiding out in Alpine. That's it, you guessed it. A 1990 Isuzu Trooper, only this one is white and it came with a parts car that is also a 1990 trooper that is purple. The white one is lovely, so i'm told. I haven't seen it yet. The purple one is rough. The doors are gone and the windows are out of it and the grill and hood are missing, along with the top half of the engine. One thing though, the inside of the trooper is filled with trooper parts. From what i have been told there are doors, windows, a grille, a hood, and various other parts. Are you thinking what i am thinking?? Probably not. If i get there and the vast majority of the parts are there i'm going to put it back together. The purple one even has a manual transmission (mad desire for one of those). So, i guess i'll know what i have to work with in the next 48 hours.

I must apologize for the typing tonight. This keyboard is about four years old and has gone through the dishwasher about a zillion times and the keys don't go down and up right anymore. I'm getting a new one tomorrow, but i felt like writing tonight, so please forgive any Grammatical malfeasance.

Lastly, i have been working on a USB charger to recharge my sons phone while he is on those long football bus rides. I did a fair amount of research on this one and consulted my Uncle the electronics Guru and whiz bang. A part here, a battery there, add in a couple of LED's and shazam, phone charger. I charged my samsung and donna's blackberry one one battery pack charge. I think that's good enough for a boy on a football trip. Now i'm going to upgrade it so that i can charge the battery pack without removing the batteries. That will be something. The next thing i'll make will be an interface to go from my laptop to my radio so that i can play with sending digital messages out there and see who picks them up. BUT FIRST,,,,, To Alicia's!!!!!!!!!!!

Until i speak with you again, enjoy the day and peace be with you, Dave