Brain Surgery for Luck

You know your day is going to be outside the norm when you are met first thing in the morning with, "Will you give me a Mohawk today?". Being the guy i am, i was suddenly swept away to The Last of the Mohicans. You know that scene when Daniel Day Lewis and Wes Studi are eyeing each other on the cliff. If you haven't seen it, it's still a great movie and i highly recommend Netflixing it.

I don't know whether it was old fashioned day dreaming or shock, but i didn't answer fast enough to keep from hearing the word "Dad" being repeated over and over again. I somehow found my way back to reality. I'm laying in bed looking up at my son and his big smiling face with my brain screaming, "are you insane??"

At this point, my head is echoing the word NO, no, no, no, no, and i opened my mouth and said, "Why??" Talk about your disconnects! I felt like two people trapped in one body. I may have been saying "no" on the inside, but he sure heard the "why". "It's for good luck in football this year," he said. Oh Joy of Joys, This is where being an old school dad would have paid off. I could have said no and that would have been the end of it, but i like to have reasons for the decisions i make involving my kids in the hopes that they will show their own children some reason in decision making. I just couldn't dream up a good enough reason to not do it. It's not like school has started yet and his hair grows like his mother's, which is very fast. So, i just couldn't come up with any reason that didn't sound any less retarded than giving him the Mohawk. I thought, you know, we'll talk about this later. If we talk about this later, chances are i'll find a good reason for not doing it. Naturally, i said sure, we can give you a Mohawk. I don't even know how that happened. I'd like to blame it on being somewhat still asleep, but nah. He's fifteen, if he's ever going to do something ridiculous with his hair, now's the time. Besides, the likelihood that i could do it was pretty low and i figured i'd end up giving him another Army haircut after i messed up the Mohawk and he'd be satisfied we tried.

Okay, later in the day i was sitting at my table and i started looking up information on how to cut a Mohawk. Yes! I know how ridiculous this sounds. I watched a couple youtube videos and a how-to i found through Google and thought, i could probably do this.

We cut his hair.

Fortunately or unfortunately, i did it. Let me tell you, it isn't quite as easy as you might think. There is a strange bit of geometry there. A couple of degrees one way or the other and, well suffice it to say the only thing worse than a Mohawk is one that isn't lined up straight front to back.

So far, a half dozen of his friends in football have followed suit. I think it's kind of cool that there is this weird kind of solidarity between these teammates. I have to tell you though, most of the comments over this have been both positive and benign, but good old Coach Steel had the best comment. He simply looked at him and asked if he had had brain surgery. I loved it. It really made me laugh.

So that's what has been going on in my world. Well, maybe not all of it, but definitely the cutest story of the week. I am nearly satisfied with my tortilla recipe and i'll probably post it in the near future for anyone so inclined to give it a whirl.

Till then, you guys have some fun, life is serious enough,

Your friend in the shadows, Dave

Asian Chicken in a Crockpot

Okay, i have been promising to give this recipe to a friend for what seems like forever. Well, today is the day. All i can say about this is that it makes a lot of food. I have two teen boys and there is usually enough for two meals. Don't sweat it though, the leftovers keep like spaghetti and it freezes and reheats just fine. If you try it, leave me a comment and let me know what your experience was like. One other thing, if you want to make a smaller batch, you should be able to half the recipe with no problems. Remember, when it comes to flavor it's what you like not what i like that counts. So, go forth and Asian Chicken till you are blue in the face.

Until next time, Provecho, Dave

Asian Chicken in a Crockpot

about 4 Lbs of Chicken, 12oz jar of Teriyaki Baste and Glaze, 20oz Can of chunk Pineapple, 3T Garlic Chili Sauce, 1T Sriracha (Rooster Blood) hot sauce, 1T Sesame Oil, 5T Lite Soy Sauce, 1T Garlic Powder, A good Finger of Fresh Ginger, 1/2 a Medium Onion roughly chopped, 1/2 oz Toasted Sesame Seeds, 4T Jelly or Jam*, 2T Roux**

Peel the Ginger Root and cut a section out of the middle equal to about 2/3 of your finger of ginger. Rough chop the ends and julienne the center piece (cut like little match sticks). Drain the pineapple and reserve the juice. I make this in the crock pot, but i guess you could make it in a dutch oven or other large pot. Empty the contents of the Teriyaki Baste and Glaze in the crock pot. Swirl just enough water in the bottle to get most of what is clinging to the sides. In a blender combine, the rough chopped ginger, 1/3 of the chunk pineapple and its juice, chili sauce, Sriracha, Sesame oil, Soy Sauce, Garlic powder, 1/2 the Sesame seeds, Jam, and Roux and blend until foamy and pretty smooth. Add to crock pot and stir together well. Add chicken to crock pot by pushing each piece down into the sauce until you have it all in or full. You should still have the reserved 2/3 julienne ginger, 2/3 of the pineapple chunks, and 1/2 of the sesame seeds. Cover these and put in the refrigerator. Cook on high till internal temp is at least 180F. I generally put this on in the morning and it's done when i'm ready in the evening. Fifteen minutes or so before serving, add in the reserved Ginger and Pineapple. Serve over rice or noodles and sprinkle with sesame seeds. Makes quite a lot of food.

*Jam note: use most any of the lighter colored or citrusy(citrusie, citrus-ish) jams or jellies, apricot, plum, even marmalade, but stay away from strawberry and grape YIKES!!!

**Roux: mix equal parts of flour and oil in a skillet and brown the mixture on medium heat. This takes a little while, but don't rush it. If you don't want the hassle just add plain flour to the mix when it's cold, but then again it's only in here to give the sauce a little more body.

Well there it is. More often than not, i'll make this up in my crock pot the day before and throw the whole thing in the refrigerator. The next morning i'll pull it out and turn it on. It sounds like a lot of hassle, but it really isn't. Just remember to throw the reserved pineapple and ginger in before you cook your rice or noodles and then everything will be ready together.

If you have a problem or don't understand something let me know. Please, do comment if you give it a whirl and let me know how it turned out. Hell, leave me a comment if you don't or if there is a different recipe you are looking for.

You guys be good and enjoy, Dave

Ugly Blog

It's been a few days since my last post and it feels like a year. I swear, so much has gone on in the last couple of weeks that i'm not sure where my mind was when i left off. We had a full week of family vacation, a vehicle failure, a date, another car failure, and a whole pile of memo boards and bread. I will try to explain some of this, though if you don't understand take comfort in knowing i was present for these events and i don't understand either.

I should preface this paragraph with the declaration that; i love my wife. Yes, of course, there is a but coming, so please try to be patient. Donna K and i have been together for many years. Some of them have been good and some have been less than ideal, but most have been horribly comfortable. She gets up and goes to work and is a brilliant tyrant all day. I am acclimated to this arrangement and definitely have my own routine. Okay, get ready for that But. BUT, when she goes on vacation and we are all together for a week, our world is total chaos. She doesn't know what to do with herself all day and my routine is just blown. There's simply no hope for me doing any of my normal things when she's home. This year was made worse by her car deciding to go on holiday as well. So, as far as our going to New Braunfels or Alpine went; it didn't. We did some stuff locally, but i really wanted to get away to a place where i could no longer see concrete and asphalt. Football starts for the guys next week, so this summer is gone. So much for i'm going to make it to San Jacinto this summer if it kills them all.

At some point here in the last week or so, i decided i needed a memo board to hang in my kitchen that i could put my master bread recipe on and shopping notes and stuff like that. Well, i found one of those memo boards and couldn't believe what they cost. The other thing is that they are so plain. It's like you have two choices, black or white. If you are lucky, you might find one that's more of an ecru. ACKKK!!! I took a good look at the damn thing and said thirty bucks my ass. Instantly, i could see it. Foam core, cotton batting, half yard of fabric, ribbon to match and some buttons, oh and that all too important appliance, the hot glue gun. The first one took me about two hours to make. I no sooner finished it and Donna K had to have one, then we added one more for "The Ridley" and i was done. Okay, so maybe not quite. Her boss saw them and had to have one for her daughter. Okay, so that's four. Well, i turned my sewing room around so make that five. They really are pretty easy to make, they just take some time.

Our fifteen year old son went out on his first date last Friday. Oh he's been out before, but it's always been for an occassion like a quinceanera, or a party or something like that. This time it was just him and this nice little girl. I guess this ushers in a new era in our house. I hope i'm prepared for this one. I know one thing is for sure, he better keep making his grades if he wants to keep going out.

The other thing i did besides give the mechanic all of my money was to pull "The Bachelor's Guide" out of moth balls. TBG is a cookbook i have been working on for years. It's not your typical recipe book like so many others, but instead it's more of a reference for the kitchen. Ideally, it's most applicable for people with marginal to adequate skills in the kitchen. It shows you how to save time, money, face (in some instances), while improving your overall skill set with confidence. It's not finished, so that's not a plug!!!

I've been teaching my boys how to do some cooking using the book as a guide. It's hard for me to stand by and watch someone do something, i do regularly, struggle at it. I know they can't learn if i don't let them struggle along the way. It's just one of those things that's hard to do.

UUUGH, i'm hating blogger today.................... I want to use word and have my pictures migrate too. Someone pleez, tell me how you get everything to sit the way you want it to. I'm posting this and i am only doing it to get out of this endless loop of fix a problem and get two more.

I'm going to post that promised recipe next, so stick around. D

a few thoughts through bloodshot eyes

Hello Cheery Peoples,
I am reminded of the great Earl Pitts as i sit here pecking out this first thought. I can imagine his wildly ethic accent bellering, "You know what makes me sick?? You know what makes me want to gouge out Shamu's eyeballs and glue them to my forehead before i head to the pool??". (((If you aren't familiar with Earl Pitts, STOP HERE and search him on youtube.com and come back.))) Well, i'll tell you what makes me sick. It happens nearly everyday. I will check my email and see something like the following in my inbox; Fwd: fwd: FwD: fWd:fwd:fwd:fwd:fwd: etc...
I hate forwarded emails. There are a couple reasons for this. More often than not, it turns out to be some joke someone found amusing and felt they'd share, a human interest or politically oriented chunk of malarkey that a simple fact check shows to be erroneous at best or some seemingly harmless prayer gift or request that requires you to pass it on to six hundred others or you will be damned to an eternity of fire. Generally, i just delete them, but i always look at the beginning to make sure i'm not missing anything important. It is a horrible nuisance. Now i know what you are going to say and i hear it often. "Dave, they send these to you to let you know that you crossed their mind". Okay, so that may be true, but if that is the case i'd rather get an email that simply says, I thought of you today. That would mean more to me than all the joke email in the world. However, the type of mail that gets forwarded isn't the only thing that really bugs me. When people forward emails, they simply click forward, click on the people they want to send it to and then click send. This sounds simple enough and it is, but it comes with a price. I value my privacy and i live a pretty reclusive lifestyle. Personally, i play my cards close to my chest. I don't put any more information out there than necessary. The people that have my contact information have it because i hold and cherish them as friends and family and i trust them to not share it. I know i wouldn't share their information with anyone. It's a trust issue. Then again, i'm talking about forwarded emails. This week, in the forwarded mails i received i gained the private email addresses for two County Sheriffs, my dad's boss, three policemen, the assistant railroad commissioner, a priest from our old diocese, and a whole host of names and email addresses of people i have met over the years. While the vast majority of these people are just plain old good people, it only stands to reason that there are some that aren't. So, i'm asking each of you, avoid the possibilities and delete the old recipients from those forwarded emails. Fact checking for the ones that fact checking would apply to would be better, but at the minimum, you owe it to your friends to delete their addresses off before you send it on. Remember, i rarely send on a forwarded email, but when i do i remove the prior recipients and i do it for you, all i'm asking is for the same consideration.
One more thing, If you don't smoke, drink, or work as a consultant, don't ever complain to me about how much you pay in taxes.
My next post will be a happier one, i promise.
Till then, enjoy each other, Dave